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My Major Heartbreak Of The 80s

There is a huge chunk of my Day In Life diary series of the 80s that I decline to mention or would I even like to talk about. You see, I've hang on to all my precious old diaries over the years - complete from November 14, 1985 to 1989 - I still saved them all, had them kept by my friends for safekeeping just away from prying eyes (when I'm out of town or out of the country) -  I refused to let go of these diaries from the 80's (thanks much to my understanding hubby who is ok that I still keep them)

So here I am reinforcing that these diaries are so valuable to me.Yet there is one diary I've written in the last quarter of 1986 that has so much torn pages - with just a few pages left saying something about the emotional turmoil from a paralyzing breakup I had then.  And because some of the pages were torn, I could not refer to them for cues. But I'll try to write what I remember from them.





<sorry, photo copied off his facebook without his permission. I pixelated it so no one would recognize him>

Note: when I started this blog, I wanted to skip writing or even mentioning this. Unless of course if I'll be forced to! I got to have my head checked why I'm writing this  now, hahahaha!! And I would have made the title "The 80s Boyfriend from hell .. hahaha now I completely changed my mind, Major Heartbreak isn't so bad after all.

(listening to some crummy songs from that era to un-inspire me : "Friends and Lovers", "Separate Lives" "Alone" "True Blue" "All I Need Is A Miracleeven Stacey Q's "Two Of Hearts" reminds me of that period in my life)

At first, I didn't really like this guy, which meant I didn't have a crush on him so to me he was like 'blah' anemic. But he's the typical ladies' man and I guess a campus crush in their school. Only met him once during the summer of '86 (when I roamed aimlessly with Ate Baybee in the streets of Dagupan because I ditched summer class in May) Ate Baybee was working at a licensed gun store as a secretary in their building. Ate Baybee introduced us together, saying he was the son of the building owner. Major Heartbreak simply smiled and waved at me hello and vanished. End of story and forgotten.

School days started. I transferred to STHS, a private school at our hometown. Survived those first few months in school despite being bullied and still having attacks of absenteeism. I just got by. Lanie and I were still the best of friends. Ate Baybee I still see often.

Then October came by, to my surprise, Ate Baybee let me know that Major Heartbreak wanted to court me. (yeah, I was also surprised... sounded illogical as he hasn't seen me since the last time... me- the gullible me, didn't question why or how) I just went along with Ate Baybee, with her playing the matchmaker :)  But all I heard were "rumors" from Ate Baybee and Lanie that Major Heartbreak wanted to see me. Things just happened so fast that month, and suddenly there he was visiting me at Lanie's house! Ahh, still had no feelings for the dude then. Ate Baybee kept building him up for me - but I believed I was still in another steady relationship - I was still unimpressed.

Then the one thing that no guy has ever done... oh no... he went to visit me at my house, thinking it was completely okay... imagine my relatives and my mom going berserk after they "interviewed" him.. asking me where I met this guy and giving me bad comments that it was so unlady-like to meet boys in the street.

Haha, in my mind, I defended him... he's not so bad, he's from a reputable Catholic school, his mother is a doctor, he drives a car, he is what I considered a gentleman and of course, good-looking kind of a cross between Harrison Ford and Edu Manzano - but not my kind of crush.

There were some minute details that I felt weird about him during those first few dates... he was telling me that we set our anniversary to July 26 (but I didn't exist then, did I?).. he was telling me his plans for our children when we get married, how many children we would have and where they would go to school (warning bells!)... he often mentioned his past girlfriends as being this, being that- I still wonder up to this day what he was hinting at because all along I was comfortable being simply me.

Later on, I found more good traits in him- like being thoughtful sending me letters/telegram, like being concerned about how I often slouched, like being unbearably sweet to me. Come December, I was getting to fall for him completely because of his kindness and caring. Yes, those times were great for us then even when we used to fight a lot. I was the quiet type not arguing back, so he would be the one with all those angry words why I couldn't make our relationship known to all.

I was beginning to be melodramatic and clingy when 1987 started. I was so happy to please him, made all the effort to see him, as promised, making up excuses at home why I was going home late (yes, 7pm is already so late for my mom!) I accepted the scoldings and the occasional slaps in the face for that, and thinking it was worth it. But he was slowly becoming distant and I didn't know why.

Then one afternoon, he kind of hinted that he found a student's ID. He showed it to me but covered the girl's first name. Asked me if the girl was pretty....well, what could I say .."Yes, she is kind of. But 1st year, still young." but somehow in me I knew this may be the clue to his lack of concern for me. So I played along, pretending nothing's wrong. But then when Valentine's Day came and I didn't get any flowers or anything from him, I began to wonder. The girl from that lost ID was his ex-girlfriend and they were getting back together.

As a demo, his sister Michelle did something clever one day, told me to stay in her room while she asks Major Heartbreak what time he's going to visit his new girlfriend. So I listened from the other room, hoping he wouldn't say anything... but he did, and I heard "Around 5 pm, are you going with me?"... ouchie. Minutes later I confronted him but he had this look on his face that he wouldn't admit anything. I cried so much over this but he felt nothing for me anymore.

So I called 1987 a bad bad year because after all that miniscule effort, I still lost him. And the rage I had, I wanted to go and see him at  home to rearrange their furniture!!

When this fiasco in my life happened, it took me a while to just hide and not go out, not socialize with anyone. I felt so betrayed. I don't know where my mind went that time, but I couldn't do anything drastic anymore, having lost all my brownie points. Come to think of it, this was a relationship I kept so secret because my folks knew and were watching out for me during weekends that I don't escape. Then I've been scolded so many many times over my relationship with him and my ditching classes. I went to all that trouble for nothing :(

Things I remember:

  • The signet ring he gave me with RC initials on it. He said he sold his bike to have it made. Back story though, that was the ring he gave his ex-girlfriend when they were steady. Yes, her name is so close to mine just spell it differently. Yes! She's the one he was nursing a heartbreak over with when he first courted me. Yes, Michelle showed her crumpled photos to me and Lanie during our first few visits before.  Eureka! Panakip-butas lamang pala ako, Hajji Alejandro...huhuhu
  • So I remember her, Miss CS...yes, Michelle told me everything there was to know
  • Of course I would always remember  his younger sister, Michelle, who was often with me when he wasn't around. Thank God for her talking sense into me during those moments of misery.
  • The brown Volkswagen with plate number ABP111 - yes I still know, I think I was the daughter of an undercover agent :D
  • Ziggy cartoon character ..not my kind again.. I preferred CareBears
  • The drama of being away from him because of Christmas vacation
  • Those pearl earrings his mom gave me a week before he broke up with me, which he referred to as a bad omen
  • The small talk whether Phoebe Cates was prettier than Brooke Shields, who is really a careful driver when driving in a city, how to make diy bomb from foil with firecrackers, and some other juvenile stuff we used to talk about.
  • His aunt's house in a nearby town where he used to take me when he was on an errand for his mom (up to this day, this house visits me in my dream)
  • "Glory Of Love" was one of the top charts. He said that Karate Kid II was filmed in Hawaii. I didn't believe him and argued about that. Years later I always thought what a creep he was for making me so gullible. But hey, looking it up on Wikipedia now, yes indeed it was filmed in Hawaii! .. anyway, I held on to you Major Heartbreak when you said "I will always love you, I would never leave you alone"  hahaha
  • He said about me of  having a mole on my left shoulder would mean that I would bear a cross in this lifetime. Baloney, isn't it? Anyway, those were his lines a week before he broke up with me. But then there it goes, whenever I go through tough times I remember what he said. Monsters under the bed, just because you believe them. Oh yeah, have to add this one... according to what I've been told, ladies with moles on their shoulder would have lots of suitors. (habulin in pinoy lingo) doesn't matter, I still don't believe in superstitions
  • Now nothing to do with what I remember... but whenever I would meet a guy whose name begins with "R" I would say he's not good for me.
So there, when you get so heartbroken, you still remember a lot of things that you would rather delete from memory through hypnosis or ECT, but they are there..huhu

I've had the time to get up again when I attended summer class to make up for my back subject in Algebra. Summer was full of hope that I would recover. These were the times I listened to upbeat songs to cheer me up. The Final Countdown, Eye Of The Tiger, The Moment of Truth, Flashdance
Yes, even the songs from The Cascades album did that for me. Read Dale Carnegie's "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living" And I made myself believe that  there will be someone out there who loved me still - haha, why do I have to add this bit? because it happened, kind of the law of attraction thing, when I believed there are nice guys still there. I got that inspiration from Five Star's "Rain Or Shine" :)

Those were the 80's and this relationship with him was the reason why I became so paranoid with other guys that I suspected of lying to me. Meaning, I would always have that ESP or female intuition that something isn't right. Aww, I feel bad now...  like I've been punched in my solar plexus! :) :) :)

to give you an idea how dreadfully I looked like during this year 1986 December.. am that girl (far left)
 with white 3/4-sleeved polka dots, red pants and pink high-cut loafers
 photo 3-1_zpse2a271a2.jpg

#howdoyougetoveramajorheartbreak #howtodealwithamajorheartbreak #majorheartbreakquotes #writingimaginarysuicidenotes #reopenoldwounds
#fetalpositionmisery

To my 15-year-old self, don't dwell on the rejection, it's temporary. The way he treats you does not define who you are, but maybe it says a little bit how he views himself. Allow yourself to feel the pain, don't keep covering it up by pretending to be oh-so-silly. There is a time to be quiet and simply cry it out; you will learn to make better choices in your relationships in the future...not all guys are like him! Don't let this prevent you from trusting someone again. And when you find this love of your life, make him feel always in love as if he won a great grand prize by being with you.


Now, for the best heartbreak songs of the 80s...
Hard to Say I'm Sorry by Chicago
Hello by Lionel Richie
Missing You by John Waite
All At Once by Whitney Houston
 Almost Over You by Sheena Easton
 Look Away by Chicago
 Against All Odds by Phil Collins
Separate Ways by Journey
Tell Me by Joey Albert
and get yourself a good cry with Endless Love






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Wordless Wednesday - Our Bonifacio Class Photo STHS 88


From our recent reunion, only a few of us from Bonifacio class 88 were present...


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(Not So) Wordless Wednesday - Our Batch 88 High School Grand Alumni Reunion

Hello again, friends!

Sharing photos from my recent high school grand alumni reunion STCS Batch'88 70th Anniversary Alumni Homecoming, photos not entirely mine but grabbed from my schoolmates' facebook accounts.

As you may well know, I love going to highschool reunions. I plan along with my schoolmates and this year, it was all worth it going!


our photo before the motorcade

That's me seated beside Brigida Soriano and Bernadette Santos, my long-lost friends from our third year






Here, I'm not in the camera's focus, but you can see me at the top left of the photo, as usual, speaking to our male high school batchmates.




                                      with a schoolmate, Ms Rose Cuison, an OFW from HK








Here I am seated at the lunch table with some schoolmates. Standing on the right is no other than Rusty (yes, the former bully now my bff)













our time to go home at 12 midnight from the Star Plaza Hotel in Dagupan City


Here I am spotted again! That's me, dark blonde-haired one, holding an ice cream cone :) going back to my seat at the table (you can see the logo printed at the back of our Reunion T-Shirt)


Here again, I spotted myself busy texting.. "hey sons, I'm here at such a late hour at the Star Plaza Hotel with our friends" :D


haha, there I am covering myself with a shawl because the air-conditioning made me shiver. That's how comfy it is at the Star Plaza Hotel


this photo was taken during our Grand Alumni Ball




Thanks for the visit, friends!
Join the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop today!
It's my April 4th entry, but just this time I didn't feature my hubby and I's wedding anniversary as I've posted about it already <3 I miss him in this highschool reunion, though..

Thanks for joining this bloghop:
image-in-ing



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Just For Fun - What's Your 80s High School Stereotype?

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Happy Heart's Day 2018



Happy Heart's Day to everyone!

This song by Surface is one of those songs from the 80s that remind me how "oh so wonderful" it is to be in love over and over again! Need I say more? :) Enjoy the music...

 

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Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!


Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! <3 <3 <3

Am getting into my sentimental moods these days and simply want to share this lovely song from the 80s.. truly brings me to tears.. hehe.. it's February 13 and I'm having these #onthisday #throwback music on my facebook timeline and having this best days of my life link sharing.. just find them :here: and here too

Just for today, I thought of posting because it's Valentine's Day tomorrow! and yes, the truth is... I'm just missing someone :)


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80's Movie Meme - Give Me Five 1984


One of the funny movies I watched when I was 13 in 1984 was Give Me Five starring Tito, Vic and Joey, introducing Pops Fernandez. Also starring  was child star Jaypee De Guzman and other supporting actors always cast with Tito Vic and Joey trio in every movie.





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March 23,1988 - A Day In Life

Wednesday
Evening
March 23,1988 A Day In Life

Hello! I really should've written here yesterday but I was very depressed on something even though I was walking in cloud nine because of something great that happened to me!

So I'll start that very significant day from the morning. Of course, there was our practice for the graduation rites 1988. It so happened that Desiree and I were chatting near the stairway of the Third Year building when Brendon just came by and went to see me right away .. he was asking for my photo, Brian was asking for it, naks! Eh the problem was I have no recent photo, so I didn't reply. Then some schoolmates who saw us talking just teased us, made fun of him...Desiree felt embarrassed so the two of us went back to our classroom. A few minutes later, Brendon was there again and loudly asked, "When will you give me a photo? Tomorrow?"  I just said, "Yes." How furious I had been, but I kept to myself, because I had lots of explanations needed and questions to be answered by him. But all I can say whenever I see him, "You're always making fun of me!"

Before our graduation rites practice in the morning was to end, I heard some schoolmates of mine say that Mr. Algebra has the NCEE result for Top Ten students. Later, I saw him and Mr. Petilla smiling at me and I think they were talking about me too. I was worried. "Maybe I failed the NCEE exams and they remember me getting that Letter of Recommendation for  college. What a shame!" I thought to myself.

Before I went home, I went to Lanie's house first. I needed to confide in her about this latest news especially about the NCEE results. And she tried to assure me, even saying, "Maybe you are one of the Top Ten, that's why they were smiling at you." I looked sadder and quietly replied, "Hey friend, I never dream of that happening, you know me, if I'll fail I would runaway forever!" We just laughed.

On that afternoon, Naning and I went to school and agreed to meet each other after dismissal time because we were going to visit Ate Mimie at the hospital who just gave birth (will write about that later)  As we walked toward the school gates, someone from Aguinaldo class told me I was ONE OF THE TOP TEN! WHAT!!!!! I told her: "Please don't play a joke on me, don't make me cry..." She grabbed my hand excitedly and led me inside the school campus. "No,really, let's see..." As soon as I entered the school, heads were turned in my direction especially the faculty - even Ms Jane who was smiling ear-to-ear [it just means now, she is really a special teacher to me. As if this is my statement for her that I wasn't the stupid student she thought I was] and most especially, Mrs Tamondong who was excited and encouraging me to take up a Medicine course instead. All I heard was "congrats" "congrats" "blowout!"  I was so happy, so very happy like I was walking high in the sky(walking on cloud nine) that I haven't noticed Brendon was there too (And I forgot to tell you about my observation of him yesterday, he was so sad, trying to joke around but his sad eyes are really obvious) He glanced my way again today and reminded me about the photo, I just nodded.  Then our graduation practice  started. After the practice, most of the students went their own way roaming about the school campus or going home. Brendon I've seen by the library, later at the Faculty department later at our Bonifacio classroom. I was at the Triangle shed all that time, some friends and schoolmates congratulated me, making small talk. Then I saw him, me thinking he was going out already as he was speaking to Tricks, I tried to use mental telepathy to make him return but it didn't work out. So I just acted on impulse, got up and walked to the gate pretending I was going already - which meant I went past Brendon and Tricks. Then Tricks saw me and congratulated me, then Brendon (who didn't ever congratulate me!) told me HIS BROD really wants to have my photo and that HIS BROD always asks him about me. If I were really some crazy lady, maybe I would've laughed out loud so hard. "O tsige" was all I replied.


After school hours, Naning and I went to Dagupan. I was so sad because something unexpected and tearful happened... yes, Ate Mimie gave birth already but even though I haven't seen her baby at that moment, I could sense something was wrong. She sounded weak as she answered us where her baby is. The baby is at the nursery room when  Naning and I went to see. But tsk, tsk, tsk... the baby was not well and we could see his life is 50-50 because his head is jerking as the nurse (Ate Mimie's sister) is treating him. Uncle Pepe was there too and looked so depressed. Really sad. Then Naning and I went back to Ate Mimie's hospital room to chat with her. We were told not to tell her anything but act normal as if everything is alright. Naning and I were just there describing how the baby looks like and I fell so sorry for her as she has never seen the baby because she is on dextrose. Ate Mimie told us to get a ride with her parents on the way home later because it was getting late. A few minutes later, here comes Ate Mimie's parents, Tatang and Nanang (as they are fondly called). They looked worried and in a hurry. They saw us there and called for Naning to buy snacks outside. Naning took a long while to come back, maybe 15 minutes, then came back carrying bottles of Coke. She told me right away, whispering: "The baby died... but we shouldn't tell Ate Mimie." OH NO! I cried. What a loss for them, the baby was cute, even big for a newborn, how come? Doctor said the baby had cysts in his lungs. An angel to look over us...

Well, dear diary, I'm sad to say that I have to continue my report about the significant events that happened TODAY because it's past 11 already and I feel tired... So 'til tomorrow night.

I Love Brian. I Love Brendon.

Love,
Richred <3


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March 18, 1988 - A Day In Life



FRIDAY
Evening
March 18, 1988

Hi! Sorry for not reporting the news yesterday because I was so-so-so heartbroken and at the same time overwhelmed of something  that should've made me glad yesterday.

I went to school yesterday at past 7, yes it was late but then classes are getting irregular these days. Not much students going there now, except those like us who plan to go somewhere after school, simply meeting up with our friends there. As soon as I arrived, I sat down at the Triangle shed together with Amy, Virginia, Imelda, Vangie and others while we were waiting for something (?) I've been there for half an hour already when one by one the students were leaving. Then Brendon entered the school gates but my heart did now  beat wildly this time (GOOD!)

After a while, Amy and I were talking, then she asked,"Do you know someone named Brian?"
Me: (suddenly surprised, and stood up) "Ha? Why, what about him?" Now there, I was really interested and got hurt..
Amy: "Isn't Brian, Ms Jane's BF?"
Me: "That's not true, I heard they are cousins-"
Amy:(didn't let me finish) "No, because Vangie told me so!"
Me: (kind of piqued already) "Hmm, so who told that to Vangie?"
Amy: "Michael"
Me: "How come?!" (still really not believing)
Amy: "Michael is Vangie's bestfriend. Vangie told me Ms Jane's BF is Brian, didn't you tell me something about Brian?"
Me: "No, I didn't." [I don't remember confiding those kinds of things to anyone, not even Amy by bestfriend/seatmate, until I was sure] Then I remembered, it was Daryl...ayyy!

And after that Amy and I just talked about other things, but despite that, I felt bad really close to crying, but I cannot let it show. TSE!!! STOP! STOP! STOP! I tell myself whenever I remember everything Brendon has said.

And this other news, I should've written yesterday too but then it would remind me of the Brendon, Brian,Dean brothers because this guy's name is Brian also.

DIRECTLY TO THE POINT: I saw Brian Amor again! (from 1985, cute eyes, college boy from Lyceum) Desiree, Sandra and I were riding a commuter jeepney on our way to Elisa's Cinema when I saw this guy riding in another jeepney as we stopped in traffic. He smiled. then he's gone.. but wait.. that's not all, something else shocking happened...[trust me, I was overreacting!] .. He was with his friend and they got off the jeepney and transferred to the one we were riding in! How overwhelming!

Brian:"Hello.."
Me: "Hi!" (keep smiling, keep shining!)
Brian: "Where are you going?"
Me: (Sorry, God, I lied) "Just there, my friend's house"
Brian:" Uh.. what is your name again?"
Me:"Ha...eh..." (Bad, he forgot my name, aha...!) "Richred"
Desiree: "Let's go down now.." That's at the Luzon Colleges still. But Desiree was anxious for me already. [my friends were all the conservative kind, they don't want boys chasing us]
Me:(to Desiree) "Ok, sige" (to Brian) "Eh, we're stopping here now"
Brian: "Okay, we'll stop here too." Yaiiks

As were were walking, going toward Elisa's Cinema, I whispered to Desiree and Sandra, "Buenas, Desiree! Why is this happening?" Desiree smiled, a knowing smile. They went walking ahead of me, and as I walked as slow as I can but I'm thinking why and what for?

Then Brian called me again, "Where are you in Mangaldan?"
Me: (I didn't lie this time) "Just the private school near the Catholic church, just ask my schoolmates" [haha, was I so popular then? haha I don't think so. Just that my name is foreign-sounding]
Brian: (still not getting it clear) "What room  number?"
Me: (Ohmygosh, making sure to find me!) "Just tell my name and ask for me"
Brian: "What's your last name?"
Me: "Buelchmann"
Brian: "I beg your pardon?"
Me: (Haay, my blood is beginning to boil, smile) "Buelchmann .. ah, basta.. I knew you know it already before"
Brian: "Okay, see you, nice meeting you..."
Me: (so glad he's going now) I quickly walked to keep pace with Desiree and Sandra as we were near the cinema already. We hurriedly walked to the Elisa's Cinema entrance. And as we were paying for our movie tickets, out of the corner of my eye I saw Brian and his friend 30 meters away approaching, so after paying for our tickets we ran inside the movie theater to avoid then and the three of us were giggling  like crazy...!

Hmm, I think I don't like Brian now, because he's not-so handsome anymore unlike before he was so like Robby Rosa when he's dressed up [read: so 80's] Now he's just plain Brian Amor! And he acts to presko that day as if he can find me and is still welcome in my life. Tsooo late, my darling, because I'll be leaving for Manila soon and no one can stop me! Nevah!!! [ I was trying to sound like Maricel Soriano in 'Taray and Teroy']

Richred <3

P.S. I still like Brian (Brendon's brod)  very much!

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March 14, 1988 - Talking To Your Shadow

Talking to your shadow

(no date given, I think this was a draft for the letter I gave him to say goodbye. The content of this was harsh, the actual letter I handed him was mild)

Hello Mr. PX,

Well, I'm slowly losing my love for you. I think you never loved me.. here's why: because you never kept in touch since September 11 (for six months!). My question is, let me know if there are people in steady relationships that don't
 see each other for that long. Maybe dead partners, I guess! [I was furious here] I know you don't really like me, you just stick to me because of whatever reason I don't know. We have to talk face-to-face soon, and I will not regret the decision that I will make when I see you (that also depends on what you should say to me) Now gone, we are no longer as loving to each other as before - during my second year days.

You have found a new girl, right? I would not believe you even if you deny it to my face. I cannot keep on waiting for you, I cannot stand the agony of waiting in vain. So here I am, I need to speak to you and know where our relationship is going. Whatever decision you will make, I promise myself I will forget every little thing that reminds me of you: "Endless Love" movie, Menudo and Robby Rosa's posters, "Now and Forever" [I don't remember this is significant for me then; it must be the song by Air Supply]; "With You All The Way", "Too Young", "Boulevard" [yahh! baduy] "Caravan" [same baduy song]; "More Than A Kiss", "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now", "Secret Lovers", "Call Me", "Party All The Time", the Gold Mix Tape songs we shared, the PMA pen you gave me, stupid notes of you and EVERY TRACE of you! You really fooled me this time!! Why can't you be brave to see me and break-up properly!! Remember last year, I had another relationship, I couldn't let you know that I'm breaking up with you because I DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU WERE! [was he an NPA? hehe] But look at you, you know where you can find me, I'm just in school, I'm just from this town, you've seen me this past month but you didn't make your move to speak to me! You know I would say 'hello' without being mad. Now you're a liar!!

Even if my dreams about us being together wouldn't happen, I don't care anymore as long as I am happy with my own life. From now on, no steady relationships for me.

PX, hate you a lot!!!!!!!

from your great enemy,
RichRed <3

P.S. Excuse me, the <3's not for you, that's for my success and love and everything great in my future...


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A Day In Life - March 14,1988



Monday                                                                                         Evening
March 14, 1988

Hello!Ah... soo! Brendon can't joke around with me, nor even speak to me today... it's all because his clearance before taking our final exams hasn't been completed yet! And you know, I couldn't concentrate on our exams today because I was thinking about him! (I am getting that worse!)

Then much later, he was in the room already to join us for the exam. He was late. I heard him asking for a ballpen from someone but couldn't find any, I think. So I quickly got my other ball pen ready for him to borrow, just in case. After a minute, he approached me and asked if I had one. I gave him my pen, and looked at him, I felt myself blushing... but I had to get back to my test paper. aww!

That's all I can say for now. This lovesick syndrome is getting worse

I love Brendon.. I love Dean (he greeted me "hi" today. I love Brian..

Good night!

P.S. As soon as I get over PX (Yes, my feelings for him is slowly waning) I'll remove all Robby Rosa's posters so I will completely forget PX. Good night again! [because in my mind as a teen, I led myself to believe PX resembles Robby Rosa of Menudo]



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Presenting "A Day In Life" my series of texts from my journals that I kept between the ages of 14 and 17. I'll be adding new entries every now and then to share all my thoughts, ideas,events, experiences, memories, ideas I had during the eighties. It is for my continued amusement that I read and reread my old journals, even when there isn't much content, I still gain occasional insight how I'm still in the process of changing to maturity. Most of the names have been changed to protect the people I recently found on Facebook. A few are just partial entries, my bleeping and blinding exclamations have been removed and some entries have been modified to give way to my now correct spelling and grammar. Yet the mix of excitement, melodrama and pleasant memories from the eighties are still much felt :)I hope, as you read my old journal with me, you enjoy the same sentiments.