Heart Of The 80s

FRIDAY
Evening
March 18, 1988

Hi! Sorry for not reporting the news yesterday because I was so-so-so heartbroken and at the same time overwhelmed of something  that should've made me glad yesterday.

I went to school yesterday at past 7, yes it was late but then classes are getting irregular these days. Not much students going there now, except those like us who plan to go somewhere after school, simply meeting up with our friends there. As soon as I arrived, I sat down at the Triangle shed together with Amy, Virginia, Imelda, Vangie and others while we were waiting for something (?) I've been there for half an hour already when one by one the students were leaving. Then Brendon entered the school gates but my heart did now  beat wildly this time (GOOD!)

After a while, Amy and I were talking, then she asked,"Do you know someone named Brian?"
Me: (suddenly surprised, and stood up) "Ha? Why, what about him?" Now there, I was really interested and got hurt..
Amy: "Isn't Brian, Ms Jane's BF?"
Me: "That's not true, I heard they are cousins-"
Amy:(didn't let me finish) "No, because Vangie told me so!"
Me: (kind of piqued already) "Hmm, so who told that to Vangie?"
Amy: "Michael"
Me: "How come?!" (still really not believing)
Amy: "Michael is Vangie's bestfriend. Vangie told me Ms Jane's BF is Brian, didn't you tell me something about Brian?"
Me: "No, I didn't." [I don't remember confiding those kinds of things to anyone, not even Amy by bestfriend/seatmate, until I was sure] Then I remembered, it was Daryl...ayyy!

And after that Amy and I just talked about other things, but despite that, I felt bad really close to crying, but I cannot let it show. TSE!!! STOP! STOP! STOP! I tell myself whenever I remember everything Brendon has said.

And this other news, I should've written yesterday too but then it would remind me of the Brendon, Brian,Dean brothers because this guy's name is Brian also.

DIRECTLY TO THE POINT: I saw Brian Amor again! (from 1985, cute eyes, college boy from Lyceum) Desiree, Sandra and I were riding a commuter jeepney on our way to Elisa's Cinema when I saw this guy riding in another jeepney as we stopped in traffic. He smiled. then he's gone.. but wait.. that's not all, something else shocking happened...[trust me, I was overreacting!] .. He was with his friend and they got off the jeepney and transferred to the one we were riding in! How overwhelming!

Brian:"Hello.."
Me: "Hi!" (keep smiling, keep shining!)
Brian: "Where are you going?"
Me: (Sorry, God, I lied) "Just there, my friend's house"
Brian:" Uh.. what is your name again?"
Me:"Ha...eh..." (Bad, he forgot my name, aha...!) "Richred"
Desiree: "Let's go down now.." That's at the Luzon Colleges still. But Desiree was anxious for me already. [my friends were all the conservative kind, they don't want boys chasing us]
Me:(to Desiree) "Ok, sige" (to Brian) "Eh, we're stopping here now"
Brian: "Okay, we'll stop here too." Yaiiks

As were were walking, going toward Elisa's Cinema, I whispered to Desiree and Sandra, "Buenas, Desiree! Why is this happening?" Desiree smiled, a knowing smile. They went walking ahead of me, and as I walked as slow as I can but I'm thinking why and what for?

Then Brian called me again, "Where are you in Mangaldan?"
Me: (I didn't lie this time) "Just the private school near the Catholic church, just ask my schoolmates" [haha, was I so popular then? haha I don't think so. Just that my name is foreign-sounding]
Brian: (still not getting it clear) "What room  number?"
Me: (Ohmygosh, making sure to find me!) "Just tell my name and ask for me"
Brian: "What's your last name?"
Me: "Buelchmann"
Brian: "I beg your pardon?"
Me: (Haay, my blood is beginning to boil, smile) "Buelchmann .. ah, basta.. I knew you know it already before"
Brian: "Okay, see you, nice meeting you..."
Me: (so glad he's going now) I quickly walked to keep pace with Desiree and Sandra as we were near the cinema already. We hurriedly walked to the Elisa's Cinema entrance. And as we were paying for our movie tickets, out of the corner of my eye I saw Brian and his friend 30 meters away approaching, so after paying for our tickets we ran inside the movie theater to avoid then and the three of us were giggling  like crazy...!

Hmm, I think I don't like Brian now, because he's not-so handsome anymore unlike before he was so like Robby Rosa when he's dressed up [read: so 80's] Now he's just plain Brian Amor! And he acts to presko that day as if he can find me and is still welcome in my life. Tsooo late, my darling, because I'll be leaving for Manila soon and no one can stop me! Nevah!!! [ I was trying to sound like Maricel Soriano in 'Taray and Teroy']

Richred <3

P.S. I still like Brian (Brendon's brod)  very much!

next next

February 23,1988
Tuesday
Evening



Hi! Hello! Hay, maybe it will be one week of blackout here and it's so frustrating because I have to review as hard as I can for the coming semi-finals. [I myself am surprised! why did I have to review so hard back then? ah yes, for the stellar grades when I get to college :)]

But I've got something to say that's a semi-good news for me to tell you... I ranked top number 11 in the exam given by the EARN Computer school! Yes,the list was posted on the bulletin board today. I'm considered a half-scholar and so is Shy Boy. [Yes, the ranking meant a great deal to me because there were plenty of us in that batch... not only that, I was just in the B section of the class of 1988] What about the guy who said "Chicken feed!" oh, he's maybe a hundred plus away from most of our class in ranking, including Shyboy and me.

I want to say something important on what happened yesterday morning at the English class. Miss Muyargas came to class kind of sad,mad, whatever. Unannounced quiz, we were given 5 minutes to review. And me who was just quietly observing her, I mean I was staring at her because I wondered why. I was pretending to look at my notebook reviewing, but I kept on looking up at her seated at her table. She caught my stare and I thought she would snub me because of her moodiness, thank goodness she smiled a friendly smile and I smiled back. And just went back to my notebook again, it's not us she was mad at after all, maybe something else. [Miss Muyargas was our English teacher in fourth year, I have high respect for her because of what she was in class. There were other stories about her that went around the campus, that I didn't know then, only got to know when we all graduated.] Ok, so the next was our quiz. After that, she made an angry speech about some people in our class who destroyed her 'reputation' (and here are my guesses: Ninoy, Tricks, Brendon, Sam, Benedick, Ritz and the other guys) and she plans to sue them in court. But then oops, she asked for an open forum and in that open forum she asked me "Christine, what will you do about it if it was you they were talking about this way?" She asked me if she was right in bringing them to court, asked for my opinion in public!

And as usual, I was so s.t.u.p.i.d.- "N-no.."(Why not?)..
"...b-b-because maybe you can still talk to them about the issue.."   (Talk about the issue?)..
"Yes.."  I sat back again at my desk. I was left just quiet again because I really didn't know that to say! [truth, in my life I never eaves-dropped on adult matters including these kinds.. therefore I have no knowledge to contribute in the matter]

I answered without really thinking through. Because I am concerned for Brendon, what if he was involved in this? Ha-ha, so for all that I was shamed again for being s.t.u.p.i.d. Almost everyone answered, "Yes, bring them to court to clarify the issue"

Now, I'm sad at myself, how can I even go to college if I'm like this not knowing what goes on in the world!! Dear God, please help  me with this, where I am always afraid to ask because I think people will make fun of me.

***  And here's about Mr. Brendon [always the trending topic of my diary that time] since yesterday I've been seeing him with Sheila and there looked really happy together, sometimes serious in their conversation (maybe talking about being sorry about their fight months ago). And with what I have been observing I decided to try to avoid looking at him - really to avoid!! But here's what happened at Physics time, we were given a few minutes to have extension review then here came the Mabini section students (the last section of our batch, hey my hubby came from that one) borrowing Advance Algebra books. Rusty was asking to borrow my book but I was kind of lazy to get it in my bag that's why I said I don't wanna. I ignored him, pretending to review seriously. Then here comes Brendon, from the back of the room and I recognized his voice but I didn't tremble anymore, or I treid not to. At the same time Rusty was still prodding me to borrow my book and now Brendon too. They were both so makulit to borrow and I did not answer. One thing I did, because my angel told me to, was to look at Brendon right in the eyes with that sad look coz maybe seeing him this close may never happen again. And do I did for 3 seconds with him looking at me too, of course. Now that's also for the pain he caused me today.  Then I guess he came to his senses, asked Rusty "You're also borrowing?" and of course Rusty answered yes. So Brendon left our aisle to borrow from another classmate. What else do I do but finally lend Rusty my blessed Algebra book.

Ahh, my mind goes bonkers over this Brendon! He just approaches when he needs something,hmp! Better if he's going to introduce me to his brod (whoever that will be as long as he's cute,huh!)

Okay good night, dear diary! I love PX! Haha, there, caught me now... anyway, I really love him!!!

endlessly in love,

Richred