Talking to your shadow
(no date given, I think this
was a draft for the letter I gave him to say goodbye. The content of
this was harsh, the actual letter I handed him was mild)
Hello Mr. PX,
Well,
I'm slowly losing my love for you. I think you never loved me.. here's
why: because you never kept in touch since September 11 (for six
months!). My question is, let me know if there are people in steady
relationships that don't
see each other for that long. Maybe dead
partners, I guess! [I was furious here] I know you don't really like
me, you just stick to me because of whatever reason I don't know. We
have to talk face-to-face soon, and I will not regret the decision that I
will make when I see you (that also depends on what you should say to
me) Now gone, we are no longer as loving to each other as before -
during my second year days.
You have found a new girl,
right? I would not believe you even if you deny it to my face. I cannot
keep on waiting for you, I cannot stand the agony of waiting in vain. So
here I am, I need to speak to you and know where our relationship is
going. Whatever decision you will make, I promise myself I will forget
every little thing that reminds me of you: "Endless Love" movie, Menudo
and Robby Rosa's posters, "Now and Forever" [I don't remember this is
significant for me then; it must be the song by Air Supply]; "With You All The Way", "Too Young", "Boulevard" [yahh! baduy] "Caravan" [same
baduy song]; "More Than A Kiss", "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now", "Secret
Lovers", "Call Me", "Party All The Time", the Gold Mix Tape songs we
shared, the PMA pen you gave me, stupid notes of you and EVERY TRACE of
you! You really fooled me this time!! Why can't you be brave to see me
and break-up properly!! Remember last year, I had another relationship, I
couldn't let you know that I'm breaking up with you because I DO NOT
KNOW WHERE YOU WERE! [was he an NPA? hehe] But look at you, you know
where you can find me, I'm just in school, I'm just from this town,
you've seen me this past month but you didn't make your move to speak to
me! You know I would say 'hello' without being mad. Now you're a liar!!
Even
if my dreams about us being together wouldn't happen, I don't care
anymore as long as I am happy with my own life. From now on, no steady
relationships for me.
PX, hate you a lot!!!!!!!
from your great enemy,
RichRed <3
P.S. Excuse me, the <3's not for you, that's for my success and love and everything great in my future...
NEXT NEXT NEXT
March 14, 1988 - Talking To Your Shadow
March 14, 1988 - Talking To Your Shadow
2018-01-04T01:45:00-08:00
MaxGXL Seller
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Presenting "A Day In Life" my series of texts from my journals that I kept between the ages of 14 and 17. I'll be adding new entries every now and then to share all my thoughts, ideas,events, experiences, memories, ideas I had during the eighties. It is for my continued amusement that I read and reread my old journals, even when there isn't much content, I still gain occasional insight how I'm still in the process of changing to maturity. Most of the names have been changed to protect the people I recently found on Facebook. A few are just partial entries, my bleeping and blinding exclamations have been removed and some entries have been modified to give way to my now correct spelling and grammar. Yet the mix of excitement, melodrama and pleasant memories from the eighties are still much felt :)I hope, as you read my old journal with me, you enjoy the same sentiments.