Heart Of The 80s

"Two men look out from prison bars, one saw the mud, the other was the stars."

"Everyday is a new life to a wise man"

"Our thoughts make us what we are"

 “Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt
ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never
waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.” 

and most of all “Nobody kicks a dead dog”

I got those quotes from the life-changing book I read the summer of 1987 when I was not only nursing a broken heart, but was also getting depressed of my 'reputation' that made me more aloof toward others. It was a major hit for me, no matter how petty it may sound now. I was taking up my back subject for high school Algebra that summer. And though I was already coping up in class, I was still being hard on myself for having that "dumb blonde reputation".

Browsing through the 'boring' books from our library at home, I picked up the book entitled: "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living"  The statement caught my attention, and more so when I opened the cover to find my loving uncle's dedication for my mom. Smiling, I suddenly wondered why they gave her the book when she looked to me as managing just fine.  I read through the first chapter up to the third, taking notes once in a while.  I just couldn't put the book down, it was so good!

So here's my say: In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.
So why nurture an optimist’s point of view?Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teenager’s disorder’ as well.

It pays to be an optimist : Optimists expect the best.The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder. They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimists persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.Optimists are healthier and live longer.Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

These are just a few ideas I gained from How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie. I recommend his books so much!

Much as I feel it hard to admit, yes.. I nurtured a love-hate relationship with my sophomore Algebra subject in the 80s. Think, a private school and the cost of tuition fees.

Honestly, from the first day of classes I was perplexed  why  a + b + c = abc, so I dismissed the idea that Algebra was to be taken seriously. I actually thought our teacher was joking when she cited the alphabets in a numerical equation! That..... or I had a special numerical impediment called dyscalculia.

So the weeks passed that I got really scared. I had plenty of panic attacks during recitations, quizzes, long quizzes and .. The Unit Tests!

Facts About Algebra In The 80s and .... me :

* I dodged my Algebra classes as successfully as I could manage. Tough luck I had of having the Algebra class 3 days in a row. Mondays was 3-4PM, Tuesdays was 12PM, Wednesdays was 3-4PM again. Most of my absences were on Tuesdays when our class used a temporary room for the first period. So the next time anyone saw me that day I'd pretend : "Wasn't absent, I was there" or "What homework? I didn't hear that we had one"

  *  In one unforgettable Algebra Unit Test, I knew I was in big trouble, I prayed so hard that I would miraculously pass. Alas! It didn't work that way because I never practiced computations, of course. I found out later that I scored 3 out of 120 items. I could've hidden in a box for a season out of embarrassment.

   * As expected, a lot of us failed Algebra and were given notice to enroll for summer class 1986. Me? I was enjoying the first week of summer in Tuguegarao City, and that notice/telegram cut my vacation short. :'(

* Summer school and the truth: I had 2 check marks on the attendance sheet out of the 45 required. Yes, severe absenteeism.  The first day I attended was to say 'hello I'm late, but I'm alive, what did I miss' and the second was after 10 days and I lied I got very sick. Of course, no one would believe because I was really healthy. :-)  Where was I during the rest of the summer class days? I was with Ate Baybee tagging along in her summer class in a university, or with my friends Lanie and Liezl, or.. worse, sulking at home.

                                          (Photo of the private school I went to from kindergarten up to my second year. I miss and love it )

* At the end of my enjoyable summer class, I did not pass. I had a "back subject" and could not move on to junior year in that private school. My relatives, being the stand-ins for my mom, spoke with educators to plea my case. No, not the mafia way of "muscle-ing" people. Thankfully, whatever I did was all forgiven and forgotten. No questions nor reprimands from my relatives. Simply enrolled me in junior year, in another school close to home - so folks can keep an eye on me. That's how I call Algebra Changed My Life.

The 41 year old me wishes I'd have done things differently. Here I learned that whatever leisure I got out of dodging and escaping classes was only temporary. I should have faced the problem squarely and dealt with it openly with the guidance counselor of the school.

Thankfully, it wasn't so bad after all, because I changed my ways the next two years after that.
I gained that discipline to listen intently to Math teachers' discussions and to ask whatever confuses me.
And see, I survived my make-up Algebra class the summer of 1987, Advanced Algebra,Trigonometry and Physics in 1988 and College Algebra I and II in 1989.

Algebra Facts: Survival Guide to Basic Algebra

February 23,1988
Tuesday
Evening



Hi! Hello! Hay, maybe it will be one week of blackout here and it's so frustrating because I have to review as hard as I can for the coming semi-finals. [I myself am surprised! why did I have to review so hard back then? ah yes, for the stellar grades when I get to college :)]

But I've got something to say that's a semi-good news for me to tell you... I ranked top number 11 in the exam given by the EARN Computer school! Yes,the list was posted on the bulletin board today. I'm considered a half-scholar and so is Shy Boy. [Yes, the ranking meant a great deal to me because there were plenty of us in that batch... not only that, I was just in the B section of the class of 1988] What about the guy who said "Chicken feed!" oh, he's maybe a hundred plus away from most of our class in ranking, including Shyboy and me.

I want to say something important on what happened yesterday morning at the English class. Miss Muyargas came to class kind of sad,mad, whatever. Unannounced quiz, we were given 5 minutes to review. And me who was just quietly observing her, I mean I was staring at her because I wondered why. I was pretending to look at my notebook reviewing, but I kept on looking up at her seated at her table. She caught my stare and I thought she would snub me because of her moodiness, thank goodness she smiled a friendly smile and I smiled back. And just went back to my notebook again, it's not us she was mad at after all, maybe something else. [Miss Muyargas was our English teacher in fourth year, I have high respect for her because of what she was in class. There were other stories about her that went around the campus, that I didn't know then, only got to know when we all graduated.] Ok, so the next was our quiz. After that, she made an angry speech about some people in our class who destroyed her 'reputation' (and here are my guesses: Ninoy, Tricks, Brendon, Sam, Benedick, Ritz and the other guys) and she plans to sue them in court. But then oops, she asked for an open forum and in that open forum she asked me "Christine, what will you do about it if it was you they were talking about this way?" She asked me if she was right in bringing them to court, asked for my opinion in public!

And as usual, I was so s.t.u.p.i.d.- "N-no.."(Why not?)..
"...b-b-because maybe you can still talk to them about the issue.."   (Talk about the issue?)..
"Yes.."  I sat back again at my desk. I was left just quiet again because I really didn't know that to say! [truth, in my life I never eaves-dropped on adult matters including these kinds.. therefore I have no knowledge to contribute in the matter]

I answered without really thinking through. Because I am concerned for Brendon, what if he was involved in this? Ha-ha, so for all that I was shamed again for being s.t.u.p.i.d. Almost everyone answered, "Yes, bring them to court to clarify the issue"

Now, I'm sad at myself, how can I even go to college if I'm like this not knowing what goes on in the world!! Dear God, please help  me with this, where I am always afraid to ask because I think people will make fun of me.

***  And here's about Mr. Brendon [always the trending topic of my diary that time] since yesterday I've been seeing him with Sheila and there looked really happy together, sometimes serious in their conversation (maybe talking about being sorry about their fight months ago). And with what I have been observing I decided to try to avoid looking at him - really to avoid!! But here's what happened at Physics time, we were given a few minutes to have extension review then here came the Mabini section students (the last section of our batch, hey my hubby came from that one) borrowing Advance Algebra books. Rusty was asking to borrow my book but I was kind of lazy to get it in my bag that's why I said I don't wanna. I ignored him, pretending to review seriously. Then here comes Brendon, from the back of the room and I recognized his voice but I didn't tremble anymore, or I treid not to. At the same time Rusty was still prodding me to borrow my book and now Brendon too. They were both so makulit to borrow and I did not answer. One thing I did, because my angel told me to, was to look at Brendon right in the eyes with that sad look coz maybe seeing him this close may never happen again. And do I did for 3 seconds with him looking at me too, of course. Now that's also for the pain he caused me today.  Then I guess he came to his senses, asked Rusty "You're also borrowing?" and of course Rusty answered yes. So Brendon left our aisle to borrow from another classmate. What else do I do but finally lend Rusty my blessed Algebra book.

Ahh, my mind goes bonkers over this Brendon! He just approaches when he needs something,hmp! Better if he's going to introduce me to his brod (whoever that will be as long as he's cute,huh!)

Okay good night, dear diary! I love PX! Haha, there, caught me now... anyway, I really love him!!!

endlessly in love,

Richred