Wednesday
Evening
March 23,1988 A Day In Life
Hello! I really should've written here yesterday but I was very depressed on something even though I was walking in cloud nine because of something great that happened to me!
So I'll start that very significant day from the morning. Of course, there was our practice for the graduation rites 1988. It so happened that Desiree and I were chatting near the stairway of the Third Year building when Brendon just came by and went to see me right away .. he was asking for my photo, Brian was asking for it, naks! Eh the problem was I have no recent photo, so I didn't reply. Then some schoolmates who saw us talking just teased us, made fun of him...Desiree felt embarrassed so the two of us went back to our classroom. A few minutes later, Brendon was there again and loudly asked, "When will you give me a photo? Tomorrow?" I just said, "Yes." How furious I had been, but I kept to myself, because I had lots of explanations needed and questions to be answered by him. But all I can say whenever I see him, "You're always making fun of me!"
Before our graduation rites practice in the morning was to end, I heard some schoolmates of mine say that Mr. Algebra has the NCEE result for Top Ten students. Later, I saw him and Mr. Petilla smiling at me and I think they were talking about me too. I was worried. "Maybe I failed the NCEE exams and they remember me getting that Letter of Recommendation for college. What a shame!" I thought to myself.
Before I went home, I went to Lanie's house first. I needed to confide in her about this latest news especially about the NCEE results. And she tried to assure me, even saying, "Maybe you are one of the Top Ten, that's why they were smiling at you." I looked sadder and quietly replied, "Hey friend, I never dream of that happening, you know me, if I'll fail I would runaway forever!" We just laughed.
On that afternoon, Naning and I went to school and agreed to meet each other after dismissal time because we were going to visit Ate Mimie at the hospital who just gave birth (will write about that later) As we walked toward the school gates, someone from Aguinaldo class told me I was ONE OF THE TOP TEN! WHAT!!!!! I told her: "Please don't play a joke on me, don't make me cry..." She grabbed my hand excitedly and led me inside the school campus. "No,really, let's see..." As soon as I entered the school, heads were turned in my direction especially the faculty - even Ms Jane who was smiling ear-to-ear [it just means now, she is really a special teacher to me. As if this is my statement for her that I wasn't the stupid student she thought I was] and most especially, Mrs Tamondong who was excited and encouraging me to take up a Medicine course instead. All I heard was "congrats" "congrats" "blowout!" I was so happy, so very happy like I was walking high in the sky(walking on cloud nine) that I haven't noticed Brendon was there too (And I forgot to tell you about my observation of him yesterday, he was so sad, trying to joke around but his sad eyes are really obvious) He glanced my way again today and reminded me about the photo, I just nodded. Then our graduation practice started. After the practice, most of the students went their own way roaming about the school campus or going home. Brendon I've seen by the library, later at the Faculty department later at our Bonifacio classroom. I was at the Triangle shed all that time, some friends and schoolmates congratulated me, making small talk. Then I saw him, me thinking he was going out already as he was speaking to Tricks, I tried to use mental telepathy to make him return but it didn't work out. So I just acted on impulse, got up and walked to the gate pretending I was going already - which meant I went past Brendon and Tricks. Then Tricks saw me and congratulated me, then Brendon (who didn't ever congratulate me!) told me HIS BROD really wants to have my photo and that HIS BROD always asks him about me. If I were really some crazy lady, maybe I would've laughed out loud so hard. "O tsige" was all I replied.
After school hours, Naning and I went to Dagupan. I was so sad because something unexpected and tearful happened... yes, Ate Mimie gave birth already but even though I haven't seen her baby at that moment, I could sense something was wrong. She sounded weak as she answered us where her baby is. The baby is at the nursery room when Naning and I went to see. But tsk, tsk, tsk... the baby was not well and we could see his life is 50-50 because his head is jerking as the nurse (Ate Mimie's sister) is treating him. Uncle Pepe was there too and looked so depressed. Really sad. Then Naning and I went back to Ate Mimie's hospital room to chat with her. We were told not to tell her anything but act normal as if everything is alright. Naning and I were just there describing how the baby looks like and I fell so sorry for her as she has never seen the baby because she is on dextrose. Ate Mimie told us to get a ride with her parents on the way home later because it was getting late. A few minutes later, here comes Ate Mimie's parents, Tatang and Nanang (as they are fondly called). They looked worried and in a hurry. They saw us there and called for Naning to buy snacks outside. Naning took a long while to come back, maybe 15 minutes, then came back carrying bottles of Coke. She told me right away, whispering: "The baby died... but we shouldn't tell Ate Mimie." OH NO! I cried. What a loss for them, the baby was cute, even big for a newborn, how come? Doctor said the baby had cysts in his lungs. An angel to look over us...
Well, dear diary, I'm sad to say that I have to continue my report about the significant events that happened TODAY because it's past 11 already and I feel tired... So 'til tomorrow night.
I Love Brian. I Love Brendon.
Love,
Richred <3
NEXT
Talking to your shadow
(no date given, I think this
was a draft for the letter I gave him to say goodbye. The content of
this was harsh, the actual letter I handed him was mild)
Hello Mr. PX,
Well,
I'm slowly losing my love for you. I think you never loved me.. here's
why: because you never kept in touch since September 11 (for six
months!). My question is, let me know if there are people in steady
relationships that don't
see each other for that long. Maybe dead
partners, I guess! [I was furious here] I know you don't really like
me, you just stick to me because of whatever reason I don't know. We
have to talk face-to-face soon, and I will not regret the decision that I
will make when I see you (that also depends on what you should say to
me) Now gone, we are no longer as loving to each other as before -
during my second year days.
You have found a new girl,
right? I would not believe you even if you deny it to my face. I cannot
keep on waiting for you, I cannot stand the agony of waiting in vain. So
here I am, I need to speak to you and know where our relationship is
going. Whatever decision you will make, I promise myself I will forget
every little thing that reminds me of you: "Endless Love" movie, Menudo
and Robby Rosa's posters, "Now and Forever" [I don't remember this is
significant for me then; it must be the song by Air Supply]; "With You All The Way", "Too Young", "Boulevard" [yahh! baduy] "Caravan" [same
baduy song]; "More Than A Kiss", "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now", "Secret
Lovers", "Call Me", "Party All The Time", the Gold Mix Tape songs we
shared, the PMA pen you gave me, stupid notes of you and EVERY TRACE of
you! You really fooled me this time!! Why can't you be brave to see me
and break-up properly!! Remember last year, I had another relationship, I
couldn't let you know that I'm breaking up with you because I DO NOT
KNOW WHERE YOU WERE! [was he an NPA? hehe] But look at you, you know
where you can find me, I'm just in school, I'm just from this town,
you've seen me this past month but you didn't make your move to speak to
me! You know I would say 'hello' without being mad. Now you're a liar!!
Even
if my dreams about us being together wouldn't happen, I don't care
anymore as long as I am happy with my own life. From now on, no steady
relationships for me.
PX, hate you a lot!!!!!!!
from your great enemy,
RichRed <3
P.S. Excuse me, the <3's not for you, that's for my success and love and everything great in my future...
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