021986
Wednesday
Evening
Hello! I don't understand what I feel. Perhaps I'm beginning to feel icky on such matters between PX and me. We are sort of having a problem today. We are beginning to have a gap and I know it's me again! I had to admit though he has also part of a fault. No, we didn't go cat and dog fight.[:-D] Just like that, we have a gap.
I know that he's getting to sense the truth I am hiding. Gosh! I'm trying to cover everything!Just so he cannot trace / follow me. I hid my home location - I said there at Bucarillo Road [that was where my nieces Faye, Olive and nephews Bacon and Matt lived] - yes that's the place I said, anyway, Cat's there to ha-ha! [Cat is my cousin, father of the four] On March 6-7, our town's fiesta, I'm going to get away for awhile from our town, coz plenty of friends what to visit me AT HOME! [visitors are a big NO for me then, my mom was strict]
Our date on Sunday is cancelled, because I feel so nervous again! I lied that I'm going to Baguio City, and he even replied he wants to go with me when he visits his dad at PMA..what!! ow? I'm crazee or what?!! And what if I really tried to go on my own?[these are the kind of scary risks I would stop teens from getting into]
Oh what fun!!And if I go with him to Baguio City, oh what a lovely date! And what if I really went and said goodbye to him that, "I'll go to Baguio City" Then he will ask what I'll be doing there, I'll just say I just want to be alone, to think about my life... Silly! But well, I'm really planning to. It's impossible if he won't go with me. We are boyfriend/girlfriend. But the real date would be on Saturday yet. I'm feeling ultra-shy already because of that, I must learn to be aggressive.. hehe! [there again, I was exaggerating, you think I was about to do some hanky-panky]
Oh, no, now I realize we didn't have one complete date yet and we are having problems.I'm in great doubt if PX really loves me. Anyway, when the time comes, I better have a fine heart that can accept such words, as : "I hate You" "Let's not see each other anymore" "Break na tayo" [ means We are through] "Why is your attitude like a child's?" ..etc,etc,etc...
I would only smile no matter how mad he will be but if I'd have a chance to be alone after being shouted at, I'd surely *bleep* the city and *bleep* in his town also. [war zone terms there, oh my! .. and did you notice my mood swings then. hahaha] PX, 143 in reverse!
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February 19,1986 - A Day In Life
February 18,1986 - A Day In Life
021886
Tuesday
Evening
Good evening, dear diary. My uncle from Germany has not arrived, I overheard my mom and cousins saying he changed his plans of traveling because of the Marcos-Aquino Elections.
Well, that means we could go back home to the province early tomorrow! Why am I glad? 'coz I want to see PX.
I cried last night about this sudden emergency that I had to go to Manila. I hate such things that, example: there are two sweethearts then one day, the other will leave without the other's permission or good bye. [I was really melodramatic as a teen, hehe] Just like that when I left Ralph in Tuguegarao, just like leaving PX. But anyway, I'll be home tomorrow.
I don't know still what to do about PX since the last time we talked. I love him. I miss him, I feel like... whammo! [that means full of energy] :))
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February 17,1986 Evening Part 2 - A Day In Life
Monday
021786
Evening 9:30PM
Hello. I can't sleep because I think I have to analyze some things very well.
I can't forget what PX said "I'm really in love with you." He gently held my hand. I beamed with joy! I wanted to say something really witty. I almost wanted to hug him! oh no, that's an oops. You know, when we look at each other, I feel like the earth just stops going around, that the clocks stop ticking. I feel like something special would happen - (what? What's that?) Maybe there's only 7 inch distance between me and PX when we look at each others face. I'm super in love! He's the most super guy I've been with so far and a Robby Rosa look-alike even!
But, there's still a problem - no, not that situation again! - it's ES the second (this other guy from the next street), wants to court me too. Oh no! Why just now when I will now have an official boyfriend?! Why is it when a lady has a boyfriend, that's when her past crushes get interested in her now? Yes, that was me with a lot of crushes and boy-crazy! But since Ralph came to my life, I tied my heart and mostly fixed my eyes on books. But still became physically absent and mentally present in class. [if there was such a word, I must've been exaggerating]
Ah, I love him! Good night,PX!
Red
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February 17, 1986 Evening Part 1 - A Day In Life
Monday
121786
Evening
Everdearest Diary,
We are going to Manila tomorrow kasi I'm badly needed and I'm in danger co'z I don't know how to get my way by not going there this time. What am I going to do, I have not said anything to PX yet.
I saw PX unexpectedly this afternoon. He really said he is in love with me. I almost melted, I almost wanted to kiss him and tell him "Iluvyouverymuch" but then I'm really watching my brains so that I won't go wacky! I don't understand why I am so silent when I'm with PX. Perhaps something is wrong with me.
I like to explain something to PX before we totally go together.[what a term I use for steady] I think it's about my situation, my mother's situation. [my mother was strict, so very very strict] Surely he won't understand, he doesn't know the real me. He doesn't know this girl he admires.
I hope God makes me brave enough to say to PX my personal situation.
I Love PX!!! (1,000,000,000,000x)
Read the next 80s diary entry here
February 16,1986 - A Day In Life
Sunday
February 16, 1986
Evening
Hello! Sorry yesterday I didn't have time to write.
You know what, early yesterday morning Ate Baybee was loud at their house when I passed by. "PX WILL NOT SHOW UP TODAY!" and again, "MARK MY WORD!" she tried to scare me. She was upset at me, I wanted to fight back! [but I'm not the kind that does that] I don't want to see ES ever again I said, so that made her angry at me. What should I do!!?!
Anyway, all's well, PX showed up today at my school. Joey and Joan were there with me by the gate and I introduced them. I feel awkward today, some schoolmates were looking at me especially the guys. I don't know what they think, but they look like about to tease me. So? Basta,I'm really in love!!!
WELL, NEWS HERE: MY UNCLE FROM GERMANY IS COMING TO THE PHILIPPINES ON TUESDAY. GOOD THING WE HAVE EXAMS ON THAT DAY SO I WON'T HAVE TO GO TO MANILA
WITH MY MOM.
Anyway, I love.... PX, soon!
meeh,
Nadia M.
Nadia Montenegro. I often plead with my friends and new friends 'I look like Nadia Montenegro?' If they say YES, that would make my day. But really, no, Nadia has a pretty face. She's the lady there in the middle,see?]
Read the next 80s diary entry here
February 13,1986 Evening - A Day In Life
Evening
Thursday
Hi!Hello!Hi!Hello! Oh my, I thought I won't see him anymore. Maybe he was thinking of me so much that he forgot the time I gave him to see me. But anyway I saw him still as soon as I got down from the Downtown jeepney ride.
And guezz what he said? "The guy you were with yesterday is just there." I WAS SURPRISED: "Does he know I'm here too?" [silly me, what kind of a counter question was that haha] Then, here comes ES (the scene is complete: we have an antagonist : witch!) ES said in an almost whisper, "Hey, I told that guy (PX) we are cousins, please don't tell the truth. Just say yes, ok?" I said, "Why did you have to lie, what was that for?" ES goes, "Because.. because.." (truth, I know ES is upset because he is jealous. I just went along with him because of Ate Baybee. Now he lost his chance with me) That's it! Then there ES was rambling on about Ate Baybee this, Ate Baybee that, wherever she was at that moment, etc.. just so ES and I had something to talk about. I really felt bored-to-death on him. I just said excuse me and went back to where PX was, who by that time was talking to a friend he found there.
PXx said everything ES told him. They've been speaking for quite a while before I came. "ES asked me if I met you already today but I didn't answer and asked him instead: 'Why you ask?'And he answered me, that you have a date with him." When I heard,I LAUGHED! PX smiled because I laughed out loud over that one. He looked relieved to see me happy. [this same moment is what I always hoped for, just the happy moments. As PX and I used to say over the years "I wish we will always be this way.. happy"]
We also talked about ES' silly scheme. Whatever that was! Poor ES, we escaped from his
sight! We just mixed through the crowd and took the next bus, never seen again by ES! It was getting dark already as it was almost 6PM. The only seat we got was at the back of the bus, just by the aisle. The light blue flourescent light above kept blinking every so often, making it dark and bright the next. [I meant this as a good thing before, it felt kind of romantic in my mind] We didn't talk much, just small talk and just exchanging smiles. I still felt so nervous at times! Then, PX asked me if he had a chance* with me, and I politely replied "Ha?" that was all I could say! I'm shocked at my own attitude, eh what can I do, I was very nervous already! [I meant that when he finally said what I wanted to hear, I was dumbfounded,
I was excited but speechless] I smiled, and just looked at him. (He's so handsome! If Lanie and Betty were here I would have gone boy crazy!) Then, I spoke up again, "Sure." THAT'S IT!
After that, a moment of silence, we looked at each other (just like in my daydreams) I feel so in love I want to tell the world! [in reality, I can't or I would've been in trouble]
Basta, next time I see ES, I'll say, "Sorry the other day I forgot all about you. It's been a really long time since I've seen MY BOYFRIEND (take note) again." Surely ES will go nuts! I know he's jealous! What a poor guy... I don't like you, bad!
I love PX! (1,000,000,000,000x)
Red
[and that's the trademark of being with PX over the years. I almost always ended my diary entries with " I love you a million, trillion, zillion times]
Read the next 80s diary entry here
* chance meant- in the 80s you still go through courtship stage or what we call
the waiting period. Elders say guys should wait years, my older cousins say wait a year or so, my friends say wait a few months before saying YES
Listen to the Greatest Valentine Love Songs from the 50s up to the 80s
February 13, 1986 Morning - A Day In Life
February 13, 1986
Morning
Hello! I can't get away from you, dear diary! Coz I'm too nervous to see him and I don't know how
to excuse myself from my friends after school.Yaiiiikks! I'm really nervous and I can't even study for
our quiz in Biology coz it bothers me a lot! I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on our lesson in school, all - I can't! [ahh, the melodrama haha]
Why am I addicted to PX!? I don't know. I'm afraid I might scream or [go the extreme] and faint altogether if I see him. As if he's so popular [yes, I was in the clouds] I dreamed last night that he picked me up from school, and said, while holding my hand "Let's go" :))
And in my dream, my friends and some classmates from the smart group were there and they cheered!!! [I wished for approval I guess] I'M TOO-TOO NERVOUS!! He might say "i luv you', eh I might collapse! Dear God, help me control my emotions. I still don't understand the meaning of love but I'm really trying to. Aaaaahhh!!!!
Another bad girl, Ate Issa - who's Ate Baybee's friend... supposedly told Ate Baybee this morning: "I've seen Red yesterday at the bus stop in Carried with 2 UGLY guys." .. Grrr! [Whatever I wrote in this entry diary further I'm omitting. I realize now the statement was Ate Baybee's way to put me off PX - by scaring me that Ate Issa would tell on me to my relatives.Ate Baybee knew my weakest spots then, or thought so that it was. Btw, Ate Issa was quite a popular girl in our place. She and her sisters were considered the pretty faces too. Sad to say, Ate Issa has passed away from a heart ailment in 2010]
Read the next 80s diary entry here