February 19,1986 - A Day In Life

021986
Wednesday
Evening

Hello! I don't understand what I feel. Perhaps I'm beginning to feel icky on such matters between PX and me. We are sort of having a problem today. We are beginning to have a gap and I know it's me again! I had to admit though he has also part of a fault. No, we didn't go cat and dog fight.[:-D] Just like that, we have a gap.

I know that he's getting to sense the truth I am hiding. Gosh! I'm trying to cover everything!Just so he cannot trace / follow me. I hid my home location - I said there at Bucarillo Road [that was where my nieces Faye, Olive and nephews Bacon and Matt lived] - yes that's the place I said, anyway, Cat's there to ha-ha! [Cat is my cousin, father of the four] On March 6-7, our town's fiesta, I'm going to get away for awhile from our town, coz plenty of friends what to visit me AT HOME! [visitors are a big NO for me then, my mom was strict]

Our date on Sunday is cancelled, because I feel so nervous again! I lied that I'm going to Baguio City, and he even replied he wants to go with me when he visits his dad at PMA..what!! ow?  I'm crazee or what?!! And what if I really tried to go on my own?[these are the kind of  scary risks I would stop teens from getting into]
Oh what fun!!And if I go with him to Baguio City, oh what a lovely date! And what if I really went and said goodbye to him that, "I'll go to Baguio City" Then he will ask what I'll be doing there, I'll just say I just want to be alone, to think about my life... Silly!  But well, I'm really planning to. It's impossible if he won't go with me. We are boyfriend/girlfriend. But the real date would be on Saturday yet. I'm feeling ultra-shy already because of that, I must learn to be aggressive.. hehe! [there again, I was exaggerating, you think I was about to do some hanky-panky]

Oh, no, now I realize we didn't have one complete date yet and we are having problems.I'm in great doubt if PX really loves me. Anyway, when the time comes, I better have a fine heart that can accept such words, as : "I hate You" "Let's not see each other anymore" "Break na tayo" [ means We are through] "Why is your attitude like a child's?" ..etc,etc,etc...

I would only smile no matter how mad he will be but if I'd have a chance to be alone after being shouted at, I'd surely *bleep* the city and *bleep* in his town also. [war zone terms there, oh my! .. and did you notice my mood swings then. hahaha]  PX, 143 in reverse!

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