Heart Of The 80s

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Love is indeed the language of my blog and the "trending topic" in most of my posts. Quite obvious with my blog's layout, don't you think? ;)
Sharing good thoughts with you, folks. Blessings to one and all!


Movie Night Treats with Netflix Rental

This is a repost, a series of my articles on Valentine's Day.. "You don't remember me, but I remember you. T'was not so long ago, you broke my heart in two. Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you..."

Just adding drama to it, of course :) (reality is I married one of our classmates after so many years instead)

Just to paraphrase from my mother's old 50's records I used to listen to ~ "A tear fell when I saw you in the arms of someone new.. a tear fell when you left me all alone and feeling blue.. a tear fell when you told me that your love was not for me..."... A fool was I, a fool was I ..... in love." laughing out loud!

It's all because our high school batch reunion video presentation still makes me smile! Lots of pictures there of our batchmates and a growing list of former classmates added on Facebook. I remember the last year when we had our high school reunion in 2008. One picture made me go back in time when I was so foolishly in love with love itself that I was super-infatuated with this particular guy from my class. He's the guy I call Brendon in these series of entries from '88. I'm just saying this because it's not him that I would truly like to remember, but to remember what a carefree person I once was. These tons of memories are always with me even on friend's birthdays, valentines, Christmas, New Year and every HS reunion.

In retrospect, I tell you if Cupid's existence was real, well then the love bug hit me then. It just hit me because of all the circumstances that came my way, which led me to see the world with rose-colored glasses. Since that day in November 1987 and until we graduated he inspired me to go to school everyday (even on a Saturday and Sunday I'll go) OA ha!

How bad was it? How silly was I back then?
I thought of him at least every hour in a day. I dreamed of him often. I would wish every night that tomorrow will be The Day he will tell me he likes me (yes, back then I was a good old-fashioned girl, you get that from listening to Teresa Brewer). And true enough the following day would almost be the day I was praying for.   ...Almost.... but we were always in class, surrounded by classmates, teachers and peers. And I thought he could never say that because (maybe) he might think he will embarrass me in front of a lot of people.
So I tried to get his attention anyhow, in other ways.... when he distributes workbooks in class, I'd pretend to accidentally hold on to his hand and say, "Whoops, I'm sorry" or if he borrows my homework to copy, I'd gladly lend it to him; if he borrows my pen I would do the same.... ahh, so many incidents. Yet, ugh, that was me?

But he NEVER got the message, not even when I sent him a pre-Valentine's card, he didn't search that well for me. I knew he showed the greeting card to our male classmates, just so he would know who sent it (he was trying to get clues thru the handwriting but I thought of that beforehand and asked a close friend to hand-write me that letter instead) He was even calling out for "Small Wonder" hoping maybe that "Small Wonder" would reply but hey, I never looked back at him. I knew he was seated at the far corner of the room, I kept a straight face pretending to be reading.
He never got the message, not even when his older brother courted me (after our JS prom) and he was the only link we had for communication. He was only playing matchmaker here, and I could just thank my lucky stars that at least he was talking to me now.

Just one day, he came near me, sat beside me and said in a "lovingly yours" way ~
"Chris... someone says "hello"....."
I smiled sweetly and said "Really? Who?" (can it be you?)
"My brother..." NYAIIKS!
Then he went on to build up his brother like he was recommending a valuable employee..... ending the conversation with, " So, will I tell him it's okay?.... He's going to see you on our graduation .... hey, he's a handsome dude... I'll tell him that you also have a crush on him!!" He was so loud that our classmates and adviser heard him, they teased us thinking it was him who was courting me (embarrassing!), he was so happy for his brother he actually jumped for joy!
I just smiled, shaking my head,telling myself, " oh no, if you only know..."

Yet, aargh, nothing came of it because that's how life is sometimes... this crush story reminds me of an 80's movie I got to watch "Sixteen Candles" starring Molly Ringwald....yes, that's the sort of girl I was, dumbstruck, speechless, blushing

a fool am I, a fool am I in love  wahahaha

Your 80s Name Is Lisa Shannon

Totally radical, dude!

Saturday 021388 Alive In Manila!

Afternoon
Dear Diary,
Hi and Hello! yes, now we are here in Manila and things came unexpectedly! Is there a proverb like that? Expect the unexpected as long as it's the best! So much fun!

But wait, here's something that I can't tell if it's sad or what... yesterday... morning, I saw Brendon kidding around with Sheila while the guys in class were looking at the 'censored' Valentine card. Our classmates at group 4 and 5 laughed at them.I said to myself: "No chance, kiddo, surely they will be back together again" Wasn't it just months ago when Brendon used to often frown at her, but look now - he's back to joking with her and Sheila's going gaga over him. Ahh, I don't know if I should cry or what, ah.... basta, I felt so angry seeing them together! [add a crying face here for me ;'( that's what I meant that time] And maybe that afternoon, they were really back together. I ain't sure coz I skipped classes again because it's Friday afternoon, I went to the movies at Rodela Cinema to watch "Stupid Cupid" with Matt.

Now here is something I must confess to you, dear diary. It was very very bad of me, but hey.. Before I went home that noon, I went back inside our classroom when all the students left. I searched for the 'censored' Valentine card but I couldn't find it, at first. But something pushed me to open the attendance record at the teacher's desk and... (would you believe?).. the 'censored' Valentine card I was looking for was right there clipped inside the attendance record book!! I hurriedly took it and shoved it inside my folder.. and went out as if nothing happened. Tsk,tsk,tsk! Sorry, my dear talented classmate Benny, sorry for your artistic talent in creating the 'censored' card. hmm, what can I say!!! [I still feel bad about taking the Valentine card. But on hindsight, maybe I saved the whole class from making our Physics teacher, Mr. Soco, furious. I mean, what reaction from a prim and proper, no-nonsense teacher would they expect? So, up to this day, no one knows I took this 'censored' Valentine card]

Here in Manila, this afternoon.. Ate Mimie, Melissa and I took a public jeepney to Harrison Plaza to watch some stars on a Valentines fans day. Who was there? Wow!!!!  Lea Salonga (I love her!!), Sheryl Cruz (Yahoo! I really admire!) Jestoni Alarcon (yes, really!) Dennis Da Silva ( loveteam partner of Ruffa, they say he looks like Ricky Martin), Ruffa Gutierrez (she's so cute and pretty!) and Romnick Sarmenta!!!! (Yeheyyy! Romnick, I love you!) [I so wish that we had a camera back then to take some photos, now so sorry. But maybe someone out there reminiscing with me can provide one. I'd be grateful!]

PX, I love you.... [that was really written, I wonder why.. when he was out of touch this season.]

still, Red

Acknowledgements to Pinas Dekada 80 for the photo

Love is in the air! I'm featuring two of my favorite romantic hits "Shower Me With Your Love by Surface which was an '89 hit;

... and the Philippines' local hit in 1984 from the movie "Bagets": "So It's You" by Raymond Lauchengco (special thanks to Mr.Ruel Mendoza for featuring the film clips on Youtube)

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.   PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Wednesday
Evening
021088

Dear Diary,
Sorry about being absent for more than a week. [what an excuse letter expert I was then] I was busy on that Thursday and Friday about my luv letter to Brendon and on that Saturday I was worrying if I'd still send it and I worried about it and I didn't have time to write/report all the important events here. And on that Sunday, I was suddenly asked to go to Manila to report at the Deutsche Botschaft. And I forgot to bring you, dear diary, with me.. sorry, ha?

Well, first.. here we go with the dreams I had when I was in Manila... on that Sunday night, I dreamt of Brendon and Sheila. They were friends already and they were very happy, as happy as the closest friends. But in my dream, Sheila only wanted a cigarette from Brendon!.. how bizarre... But this morning, I overheard Sheila talk about Brendon, about the words he wrote on the our classroom wall [highschoolers are known for this bad habit] on the next Monday night, I dreamed of Dean* and his real girlfriend (according to Dess). Dean's girlfriend went to our room and told me there are some people backbiting me and Dean is defending me (WOW,Ha!) ... And here's what happened in reality between Dean and me is that he greeted me hello as we passed by each other at the Practical Arts building, and when we passed by each other in front of the plaza. I just smiled sweetly but I looked down because I felt shy.

And well, what happened on that Monday... first, Ate Edith, my mama, Matt and I went to the Deutsche Botschaft and as usual, Matt was acting silly. Why? when we took the elevator he acted funny and said there was an earthquake! (haha) Oh yah, we got a problem at the embassy because I had no ID with me so I've got to go back this Saturday (so by Valentine's Day I won't be here in the province)... Then after we went to the embassy, we headed to Bank Of America next.

Matt was acting sillier this time because of the automatic swinging doors - you know, the ones you just step on and it opens by itself. [yes, during the 80s automatic swinging doors was a novelty] Here goes Matt, gaping at every person that passes through the door. Ay probinsyano! Hay!

.... Afterwards, we all went to the SM Food Center at SM Makati and then we went shopping! Later we went home to rest a little. By late afternoon, Ate Edith and I went to the movies at Greenbelt Cinema (my most favorite cinema house with the romantic lover's lane, the most American McDonald's and remember my 2nd year high school days 012786?) We watched the movie "Ibulong Mo Sa Diyos" starring Vilma Santos, Gary Valenciano, Eric Quizon and Miguel Rodriguez. This movie made me cry, especially when I heard the song "Sana Maulit Muli" can't help but think of PX and how I miss him. Maybe it's because PX is a huge fan of Gary V.

The next day, Ate Mimie accompanied me at the University Of Santo Tomas UST for my application for entrance exam. I chose BACHELOR OR ARTS IN HISTORY and BACHELOR OF SECONDARY EDUCATION MAJOR IN HISTORY. Ate Mimie took me around the UST campus since it's the university she went to and is most familiar with. She said the school is not what it looks like, the students there have an easy-go-lucky attitude, the guys are bolero, the ladies are vain but still studies must be taken seriously. Hmm, I like the school.. I love the old Spanish buildings, the facade looks the same as ours in my high school Santo Tomas here in the province. Isn't this how buildings in Puerto Rico look like? hahaha having thoughts of Robby Rosa again! Hay, I hope I pass the exam...

Okay, so this morning at school, Brendon kidded me he's borrowing ten bucks sana. I smiled/frowned, haha. He went at the back of our room and announced: "Who's got ten bucks, lend me please!" then after a while he called my name again but I tried so hard not to look back because I was busy with our assignment. Besides I didn't know if he received the love letter na. On this afternoon, though, I found out he got it already. Saw his name written on the blackboard by the principal's office for the mail. Oh.. but I haven't seen him this afternoon because he was absent.

So that's the latest report for today. I'm closing this entry with Richie Valens' "C'mon Let's Go!"
Good night....

Red

[Who's Dean? That's Brendons's younger brother who was the campus crush. I didn't really know him :)]


For the next entry 

[I am so inspired today to just go ahead and begin a series of these blog entries I will call "A Day In Life". This series present the text from my journals that I kept between the ages of 14 and 17. I'll be adding new entries every now and then to share all my thoughts, ideas, events, experiences, memories, ideas I had during the eighties. It is for my continued amusement that I read and reread my old journals, even when there isn't much content, I still gain occasional insight how I'm still in the process of changing to maturity. Most of the names have been changed to protect the people I recently found on Facebook. A few are just partial entries, my bleeping and blinding exclamations have been removed and some entries have been modified to give way to my now correct spelling and grammar. Yet the mix of excitement, melodrama and pleasant memories from the eighties are still much felt :) I hope, as you read my old journal with me, you enjoy the same sentiments.]

WEDNESDAY Evening 10:30PM
February 3,1988  020388

Dear Diary,

This is some kind of a day. I'll start it from the very beginning...
This morning, Brendon( changed his name from RF to Brendon now) was not so late in coming to school. After checking our test papers in Filipino, he went to the faculty  room and volunteered to distribute the envelopes and of course, my envelope was there. But, Dan, our other classmate, offered to help him (OH!) and unfortunately, my envelope was given to me by Dan. (Aargh!) 

But then later, a campaign brochure from Baguio Colleges Foundation (now University of the Cordilleras) and the college courses offered were distributed. I was talking to my guy seatmate Daryl, just asking about the course descriptions. 
Me: "What is BSE?"
Daryl: "It's a course for teachers, of course!"
Me: "For highschool teachers?"
Daryl :"Yeah"
Me: "But what is this CMT and CAT? Can ladies enroll in this course? Maybe there are plenty of handsome guys here, eh?"
Daryl : (laughing) "Ha-ha. You're kidding, right?"
Me: " I had to ask!" More giggles.
Me: "Ok, now I know what course I'll take up. This is really it... BSE HISTORY MAJOR!"  [I loved history subjects because of all the hilarious stories by our effervescent history teachers.]
Daryl : (shrugs) "Sure you can..."
Me: " I'll be a teacher and would be teaching in this school. By then there would be plenty of handsome co-teachers too!" [Was only jesting for amusement] So that conversation lasted until I read more details to ask about.... Just then, Brendon came up beside   Daryl and held the same brochure that I was holding that time. Brendon and I both looked/gazed/stared (whatever) at each other for a few seconds, and I shivered. But oops,   Daryl said to Brendon: "Pare, this is Red's" So Brendon goes apologetically: "Okay.." Then went away. Aaargh! To  Daryl!

This afternoon, Brendon went in very late around 1:45PM. A visitor from the EARN computer school was  promoting their courses and encouraging us to study in their school. Around that time, Brendon came in but no one got distracted anyway. Later, our class took a scholarship exam for 30 minutes. A long time of silence. Then the proctor asked: "Is it difficult?" We all gave out a giggle. Brendon, who was seated at the far corner,said: "Chicken feed!".. haha, I said to Daryl: (who was seated just behind us - and copying my answers): "Hmm, we'll see!" Anyways, no time for that now.

Oh and much later, the wall between our room and the Aguinaldo section's room fell over the head of Sheila - Brendon's ex. I glanced quickly at Brendon seeing his expression if he will care for her. Nothing there. I think he sort of felt sorry for her but just smiled to himself. We all went back to our work. After the exam, Brendon went out to play basketball at the STHS court.

Other topic, I have something very very important to tell you, dear diary, and I fear it will happen. Matt, my 11-year-old nephew, is not so happy and said the world will end soon this March 18,1988 right after the eclipse. I'm praying that it won't happen. I hope God will not get angry at us here on earth, I'll try to be good already. Okay good night, dear diary.

[Now I think this was an awesome day :) All the people I mention here are every now and then in touch with me thanks to Facebook. Who's Brendon, you say? He's a former classmate for whom I've had a great silly crush- just like that. No, he never knew and only one or two close friends knew. Anyways, these were my best days so to speak]



Here was my next Entry

Find me on the 1st photo above, yes, that young girl in multi-color polka-dotted white shirt dancing at a wedding party. The rest of the people in the photo are folks in the baranggay and my cousins from the USA.

Let's get wordless here!

Wednesday Quotes 3: Sometimes you have to just stop worrying, wondering and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it's meant to be.

A happy Monday to everyone! I'm back joining Music Monday this week with one of my favorite songs by El Debarge, "Starlight Express". It's a song that became popular around the time our JS Prom was held in 1988. I still love it lots.Happy MM, all!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.   PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Monday 030386
Morning

Last night, I really can't sleep. I just listened to the latest sounds on the radio but I still can't sleep. Only when I turned on "Menudo Reachin' Out" tape did I calm down. I imagined I was in a place far away .. maybe Tuguegarao..

The day Lara and I listened to this Menudo album.. the afternoon when I first met Ralph... the day we searched for Ralph at BFD and PLDT (the places his team used to practice basketball)

Sunday
030286
Evening

Hello... it's just like any boring tearjerking day once again coz PX won't be here by my side until Wednesday. [boo-hoo, haha]

Lanie and I went to YBTTC/ Plaza and we also looked for the canteen/beerhouse. Oh yes, I forgot writing an entry last night.. that Lanie and I have a mission to find out who this Evangeline of Cynthia's canteen in YBTTC is. [Cynthia or Evangeline, sounds the same to me then.. ah the jealousy of imaginary rivals] Evangeline is PX' ex-gf's name but he never mentioned it to me, only to Lanie and Betty. Their talk was about how PX has a PMA college ring and he said it was his father's, and that it's a good thing he got it back from his ex-girlfriend when they broke up.

Ate Baybee says bad guys go to the kind of canteen/beerhouse we are looking for and that we shouldn't go. There are pretty ladies there who serve as waitresses, plenty of men go there mostly DOM or looking for relationship (In my 80's mind then!). Eeks, How disgusting.[I realize now the canteen we were all referring to then was the most popular restaurant in town, no drunks there or DOMs, but hey nowadays there are plenty of the dreaded bars here]

But then there we were at YBTTC this afternoon. It was a beerhouse but it wasn't Cynthia's Canteen, but that's where PX pointed at says Lanie. We were lost there, YBTTC is a small town to look around for someone. Will we still get to pretend we are mature people and order beer? Ha-ha!

Oh yeah, Bacon and I were at the store in Bucarillo Road [Binoboran Road, is the right term now]. We were ordering softdrinks that time but they ran out of stock so to speak, so we got beer instead! Really! I was very dizzy because of it, and real drunk too! Even wanted to buy cigarettes again for the four of us. Ha-ha! I'M GOING CRAZY WITHOUT PX AROUND!

And, this evening Uncle Joe (father of Lara) arrived. Wows, I got another letter from her but it's short and nothing much. Mentioned Ralph a little as getting cuter. Well, it's old news.. old style.  Anyways, by Holy Week Uncle will go back here in town and take my mom to Tuguegarao, then after two weeks I'll be next. ... am not so excited anymore, I really don't care. But PX is the problem.. on summer vacation he will be in Laguna for a summer job.. poor me.  hmp, he's going to leave me this summer and I think I'll be going to summer school this April ( I hope not)  I wish PX will still be here!

Dear God,
Please bless PX, Ralph, Lara, Dong,PJ,etc Please help me in my biology report tomorrow.

love,
Red

Hello, there it goes.. the news gets out little by little. First of all, Joey has met the super-PX I've been telling her about for long time. Next, an elderly lady- neighbor gossip saw us both while we were taking the commute back to the town proper. PX and I got off from the PUJ as soon as we were at YOU BELONG TO THE CITY [that's the name I labelled our town in my diary]. We just went strolling by the plaza, then we went to the booth of Betty and Ate Tita and Ate Merly. They said he's okay and down-to-earth kind of guy. Funny Ate Tita/Merly and PX have the same last name, just a coincidence :)

Much later when it was close to 5pm, we went to the local Catholic church. Almost closing time (do they ever close, I wonder) ... we knelt down by the pews and we prayed silently. I prayed of course, that the Lord would bless us both. I also had thoughts about Ralph and I prayed about that too (coz whenever I go to church I always pray for him). Then, we just sat there thinking our own thoughts, while the people working for the church were readying something for an event possibly for the next day. Then it got quiet when the church workers left, then he teased, "Think we are going to get married here someday? Answer me..."  I was usually quiet again, but I smiled. My heart beat so fast I could hear it. Aww, shucks!

I really admire him for being prayerful, I could tell he's a real church-goer.. but of course, coz he's from the town where thousands of pilgrims visit to offer their prayers. In contrast, I'm not a regular church attendee.. thanks to Ate Baybee's influence, I have not paid attention to sermons. [ funny I wrote this, it brings light to many things I often think about. For the record, I'm no longer a Catholic but a born-again Christian]

Well, this is all for now.. will write again tomorrow!

Read next entry here

Friday
February 28,1986
Evening

Hello! Here's what happened after school, I rode the Downtown jeepney ride again today but when it seemed to stop in front of Luzon Colleges, there's yucky Mr. Eeeks again! Haay, shucks, he even flagged down the jeepney I was in eh, you know me - I don't want to hear a word from him, makes me feel blah! I escaped.. I ran, ran, ran! I took another commute to get to the bus stop... whew, that was close!

Well, later, I saw my super hero, super handsome boyfriend... relieved! He seems to look so handsome to me today! He waved at me as I couldn't find him at first. Later, as we were waiting for the bus ride, he was telling me that he had a problem at home (like me). He was thinking of running away somewhere and I said, "Doesn't that scare you? You will have no one to look after you!" He simply smiled and said I was right. I told him about my earlier experience of almost running away before but I didn't.. of how sad I was, how afraid.. then silly me, I couldn't stop myself from saying Betty's secret that " hey, Betty's going to runaway with her boyfriend soon" and I joked :"I'm thinking of going with them." PX looked horrified, haha! Guezz what he said, "Don't mind those runaway stories, those aren't true that life will be better away from home. Let Betty go on her own, don't go.. you are still young and in school... better if we're at the right age already, ha." and he winked at me in jest, I can't help but laugh! I blurted, " I wouldn't run away and get married at a young age! Scary!" [that much was true] Then he was telling a true story of young lovers who planned to runaway by the meeting at the bridge at 9PM, but they got caught by parents. Oh, man, I laughed so hard with that story! :-D

Taking the bus home, we were quiet coz of some bad_ _?. Realized we didn't have a plan to meet tomorrow or where to go. But that's decided already. What makes me feel so super today is he said he missed me a lot.. that he's happy to be with me again! naks! [I translate: I'm touched]

Love and surprises,
Red

READ NEXT ENTRY HERE





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Thursday
February 27, 1986
Hello!

I could say, that this is also a significant day for me though I feel a bit of doubt on you-know-who.

Well, today in school at our Practical Arts subject we had a short exam with all the mathematical drawings and patterns. Tough. In our Biology subject, we listened to the report of group one which I could hardly understand I even forgot what it was all about.. and oh my, next week, it's our turn to give the report so I've got to work on the researching... bye to my social life for a  while,right?

In History class- just an ordinary day with the indestructible Mr. Miranda... an ordinary day I hoped, until the attention was given to me. See, I was chewing chiclet gum that afternoon while our teacher was discussing. Mr. Miranda was going 'round the room facing the blackboard, not even looked at me when he said "You're chewing bubblegum." ..like to no one in particular. He didn't point at me and my classmates were asking one another "who" he was referring to but I know it was me so I looked down and pretended to be reading. guilty? "Miss B, are you?" Whoa!! I looked at him like he was crazy or something but at the same time I swallowed my gum to get rid of the 'evidence'. :) [ I knew what would happen next and being the shy quiet type I don't want to be embarrassed infront of the whole class] I lied: "No,sir." and smiled a sweet smile.  And you know Mr. Miranda, he's a really funny guy despite being no-nonsense, saved me the embarrassment by joking along, "Then you must be chewing your tongue?" to which the class roared in laughter. I smiled but bent my head down, my face red. Thanks still, sir, you're nice to me. :)

Literature class and English class just sped by and it was dismissal time! Joey went ahead of me and I can feel she's upset at something. She does smile at me but I feel she's just pretending everything is ok just to ease the tension.

So I took the commute alone today, and as luck would have it, the jeepney stopped infront of Luzon Colleges for a long time. Ah, who else was there waiting for a jeep but Mr. Eeeks!!! [my 2nd accidental ex-boyfriend that time who was a college guy, Bacon's uncle] and as soon as he spotted me he approached the Downtown ride I was in. He just went near, and not ride along.. thank God!! He patted me gently and said, "How are you doing?.. hello..." I didn't respond and ignored him. People in the jeep were looking at us, maybe especially at me and thinking (hmm???) Aargh!! To just be truthful, I feel squeamish seeing him.. he's so... thankfully I just thought of PX and of how he is in contrast, and that made me feel better. After a long long long pause, the jeepney driver decided to move along.. thanks!! finally going further away!  and did I hear Mr. Eeeks say "Bye,Red"? ... :)

When I went down from the bus this afternoon at YOU BELONG TO THE CITY [that's the name I labelled our Mangaldan town in my diary] I went straight ahead to our town plaza to pass by Ate Marlyn's. Guezz what, Saldie, KCMar and Adel's magic show were already there! [These friendly guys/gals were the ones Lanie and I met last January 1986 during San Fabian's town fiesta. Saldie's been writing me ever since to keep in touch. Their family owns the Universal Productions from San Pablo Laguna that travels anywhere in Luzon whenever there is town fiesta. They present magic shows especially in busy towns like our place] As usual, we were making small talk as to where they've been before our town. I also let them know where Lanie and I reside, also Ate Marlyn's booth at the plaza so they know where to find us. I also asked about one of their friends Christine Vasquez, if they've met her again since the last time. She's their friend, I think Adel's crush coz she's his age. She's half-Pinay, half-Mexican.. a mestiza like me. They said I sort of resemble her, which made me more endearing to these fellows. Anyways, we'll be seeing them again now that they are here in town!

Goodnight,
Red


[I'm continuing the old diary entries today from 1986 this time, I feel it helps me retrospect a little of how I've changed and in what area of my life I may need the good qualities again. I beg for your indulgence, Your Honor/s.. so to speak]


READ NEXT ENTRY HERE

022686
Evening                                                                                                      Wednesday

Hello! No matter what I want to do, I really can't sleep

Because I saw PX unexpectedly this afternoon. I say unexpected because I was thinking all the while that he was in Baguio City. But I really had an intuition that he's here in the town all along. Is it he wants to know if I am sincere or rather he wants to surprise me.

We got a little bit of gap, a serious problem and I wonder how to overcome it. It's PX that's why.. he wants the whole universe to know that we are steady but I always try to clear it all up with him.. that my mom is very strict and I wouldn't know what to do if my mom would find out. I don't know about WhenTheCatIsAway, if he will stand up for me.

If only I didn't have these problems, no need to ask. I'd gladly announce to the world that PX is my bf. I just don't want my mom to know, that's all. She would go berserk for sure.

The pains of being 14! But I really love him!

PX, I LOVE YOU.. so please take your time in knowing me well first. Things are going too fast, please understand! I LOVE YOU! (1,000,000,000,000x)


READ NEXT ENTRY HERE

022686
Evening
Wednesday

I know God heard my prayer last night! Cory Aquino is the new president of the Philippines and Marcos flew to Honolulu with the Marcos family last night at 9:05 PM [yes, accurate entry from me hehe]

And guezz what? Maybe PX heard my shout last night 'coz I just saw him today! I kind of believe that PX and I have ESP with each other, huh? It was a surprise to me when I saw him, good thing I'm still the usual me without my childish antics.. or else..

This is the last page of my diary 1. I will move on to my second book. There I will relate everything, I mean, the summary and quips from the beginning up to this February... okay?

NEW PRESIDENT...
NEW DIARY..
NEW LIFE..
NEW YEAR..
NEW DEAR (?).. no, still the one.

Thank You Lord for everything.

the 80s girl,
Red

READ THE NEXT ENTRY

022586
Evening
Tuesday

My Foreverdearest Diary,

The whole day seemed so gloomy and the gray sky, gray world matched my gray shirt and my sad mood.

I got a test score of 3 in Algebra Mid-quarter Test out of 120 items. [that was a major blow]

At Literature period, Miss Opiana also looked gloomy because of the nationwide news in the Philippines. To me she sounded like all of us will die soon because she said before we went home for dismissal : " For your assignment, please bring short stories for.. (paused) ... I don't know if we'll meed again. But in case we will, please, next Tuesday." See? [ I was being melodramatic here about being an adolescent at the beginning of an impending civil war from the EDSA Revolution happening in Manila that time]

What makes me really cry is that PX is in Baguio while the trouble in Manila is becoming worse. I'm afraid there will be civil war and it might reach our province.

I love PX. I miss PX. What could be happening to him these days? I worry about him a lot! How will life be when the civil war will start? Will we still be alive?

There's a curfew for us all from 6PM to 6AM, no one could get out much. No kidding about the war. The only sign folks are waiting for is when our relatives from Manila would evacuate and go back home to the province then it's a sure sign the trouble has gotten worse. When that happens... I guess I'll run away, I'll escape [the thoughts of a girl with a sheltered life] I overheard my folks talking about the EDSA Revolution.. in just a few days the country will be bombed (March 5th is what they say) I will try my best to fight no matter what happens.

Haah! Just my luck to have a boyfriend this year and war in the Philippines!
PX, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear God,
Please Save The Philippines!!!

love,
Red

READ THE NEXT ENTRY HERE

022486
Evening
Monday

Hello. He's gone to BC and I'm free today until Thursday to play around hehehe (hoy!) Just joking. I really need time for my studies this week because of the exams and quizzes.

I realize isn't it a wonder the events happened so fast. I just met PX again last February 12 then we went out on a date February 22, and now we are "on"! Ten days difference, oh my goodness, am I that easy to get (and forget?) I hope he doesn't think of me that way! NO! :-D

Oh, quiet time again, no Algebra test paper yet but, tomorrow maybe... Dear God, please bless me.

Red

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022386
Evening
Sunday

Hello. It's a boring day but I can still feel the happiness from yesterday's moments. I feel bad becoz of a gray sky. I'm not sure if he'd be able to come and fetch me at school tomorrow bu GOSH I MISS HIM! I FEEL LIKE DYING IF HE'S OUT OF MY SIGHT! I'm afraid that he might meet someone else who's prettier than me while he's in Baguio City. I'll probably....haaah, stop it!

I love him! that's all and I just hope the jealousy blues will be gone. OK!

I remember I still have to write back Lara, just to say hello and how everything is here. No, I don't feel anything about who is in Tuguegarao. No time for that now.

RIGHT NOW I NEED MY GOODY BRAINS COZ I NEED THEM IN SCHOOL, PLEEZ!

Dear Lord,

Please give me a good day tomorrow though I won't see PX. Please help my test paper in Algebra have a score. Please, dear Lord, and please bless Lara, PX, my teacher in Algebra Ms. Basa, Mama, Miss Opiana, Lanie and all my close friends.


Red

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Saturday
022286
Evening

Dear Diary,

Hello! Hello! Hello! Everything's fine! Everything is alright! PX and me are officially on as sweethearts!

Just like that, when we were on our date today.. he hugged/ embraced  me.. I was so happy, this means we really are sweethearts! Ahahaaaay! Chill to the bones was what I felt but I didn't make that obvious. [Yes, dear readers, hugs and embraces already meant something for me then, life was that simple]

I know he loves me so much because he cares so much for me to speak the truth if I still love someone else from my past relationship. He said he feels I still love someone somewhere (though I haven't told him anything) but I assured and swore that he will be the only one.. he asked: "Red, until FOREVER?" I had no comment but to smile sweetly. [Yes, in my heart I really meant yes. Dear readers, allow me to clue you in some more.. I held on to my promise for quite a long time, and it was a very very long time. As you will find in these series of old diary entries we were on in 1986 and still on in 1988. Ha-ha, will I then say what Liz Taylor said about her love for Richard Burton? Haha, I really don't know, I'm just kidding here]

PX is still not sure with me, even joked about me finding another guy. Isn't that silly? Why is he insecure about that, isn't it obvious already?  ... But then I feel jealous really about his former girlfriend. He told me a few things about her, and I wonder how they broke up. Scary to think of, I don't want that to happen to me. I know he still cares for her, he's still wearing her ring. I heard about that story from Betty, when we first met PX in January 17th, that his ex-gf and him exchanged class rings and I feel uneasy. [now I find that story quite odd, because all that time he had a soldier's class ring -  the one with a ruby in it. It must be his own ring, handed down by his brother from PMA] 

Well, PX will be gone for about five days. He will be going to Baguio to see his father. [that was always the story] I'll be left alone in a sour world. I thought I could have the stars in a split second but then, the gray clouds covered it and it's beginning to rain. [what poetry, huh?]

I love him, I love him, he's the only one I love and no one else! Not even Ralph, he is just a special mention in my list

Dear God, please bless PX and me. Please make our relationship stronger to last forever.

I love PX!

Read The Next Entry

Friday
022186
Evening

Hello! Hello! Hello! He loves me! He loves me! He finally said that he loves me! But I can't utter the words "I love you" to him when he asked me to... but well I just acted wacky by giggling about it then just changing the subject by joking. But deep inside I really love him! Yes, really!!!

Why can't I say the same? Is something holding me back? Is it Ralph? [Yes, Ralph is only more of a fictional character] No, not this time!

But well, as of now, I love PX! Haay! I'm really going crazy!! The problem is what if he finds me boring, then he will surely split from me. and if I see him with another girl, Ate Baybee will now dare me what to do. hehehe  (hey! PX and I still didn't have one complete date, jealousy creeps!) But again, on summer vacation, no PX, no Ralph because I can't go there.. because I might be going to summer remedial class for my algebra.. and because PX will not be here too because he will spend summer in Laguna. WHAT? Yes.. I hope he changes his mind. Isn't it supposed to be.. 'till death do us part? :)

Ok, then, I'm getting high blooded again, kitam!

I love you PX!

Read Next Entry

Thursday 022086
Evening

Hello! A miracle - why the cheery greeting? I got a tear-jerky letter from Lara. It says:

Dear Ate Red,
Hi, Hello I hope you're fine, like me. Ate Red, I'm not mad at you I even had a letter for you before but he gave it to your mom when they were in Manila. I hope you understand me because almost everyday I have plenty of assignments in school.

Did you know one time we happened to pass by Palpakman you know why I called him palpak, because he doesn't look handsome anymore, he's "babalu" already (Gosh! Don't hurt my feelings, I know it's not true, i love him, i love him, he's my RR, please!!!!) Dong said, " Hey Robby, Ate Red has a crush on you!" Good thing Ralph didn't hear him, it would have been embarrassing.

How is everybody there? I hope everything is ok. 

BYE-BYE.

Always loving you,
Lara

My dear younger cousin, Lara, really cares for my feelings! wah! I hope she didn't write all that about Ralph coz I've been telling her a hundred zillion times to choose good, better, best words about Ralph. Golly, if that's how she feels.. then it's okay, I can't influence her.  And is it true, that Ralph has forgotten all about me? He hasn't heard what Dong said, what's the meaning of this... when I went back home here in the province he now has amnesia not even speaking to my cousins.

Well, this summer, I make sure to take a long vacation there.. if PX and I will split. (it's an i love you, i hate you, no decision here) I miss Ralph, how's he? If only I was there...am I crazee - more crazee than the talk of the town [it's an 80s lyric]

Well, tomorrow is PX day. Will see him again. I like and <3 PX as long as he understands and loves me very much!

Red

Read Next Entry

021986
Wednesday
Evening

Hello! I don't understand what I feel. Perhaps I'm beginning to feel icky on such matters between PX and me. We are sort of having a problem today. We are beginning to have a gap and I know it's me again! I had to admit though he has also part of a fault. No, we didn't go cat and dog fight.[:-D] Just like that, we have a gap.

I know that he's getting to sense the truth I am hiding. Gosh! I'm trying to cover everything!Just so he cannot trace / follow me. I hid my home location - I said there at Bucarillo Road [that was where my nieces Faye, Olive and nephews Bacon and Matt lived] - yes that's the place I said, anyway, Cat's there to ha-ha! [Cat is my cousin, father of the four] On March 6-7, our town's fiesta, I'm going to get away for awhile from our town, coz plenty of friends what to visit me AT HOME! [visitors are a big NO for me then, my mom was strict]

Our date on Sunday is cancelled, because I feel so nervous again! I lied that I'm going to Baguio City, and he even replied he wants to go with me when he visits his dad at PMA..what!! ow?  I'm crazee or what?!! And what if I really tried to go on my own?[these are the kind of  scary risks I would stop teens from getting into]
Oh what fun!!And if I go with him to Baguio City, oh what a lovely date! And what if I really went and said goodbye to him that, "I'll go to Baguio City" Then he will ask what I'll be doing there, I'll just say I just want to be alone, to think about my life... Silly!  But well, I'm really planning to. It's impossible if he won't go with me. We are boyfriend/girlfriend. But the real date would be on Saturday yet. I'm feeling ultra-shy already because of that, I must learn to be aggressive.. hehe! [there again, I was exaggerating, you think I was about to do some hanky-panky]

Oh, no, now I realize we didn't have one complete date yet and we are having problems.I'm in great doubt if PX really loves me. Anyway, when the time comes, I better have a fine heart that can accept such words, as : "I hate You" "Let's not see each other anymore" "Break na tayo" [ means We are through] "Why is your attitude like a child's?" ..etc,etc,etc...

I would only smile no matter how mad he will be but if I'd have a chance to be alone after being shouted at, I'd surely *bleep* the city and *bleep* in his town also. [war zone terms there, oh my! .. and did you notice my mood swings then. hahaha]  PX, 143 in reverse!

Read Next Entry Here

021886
Tuesday
Evening

Good evening, dear diary. My uncle from Germany has not arrived, I overheard my mom and cousins saying he changed his plans of traveling because of the Marcos-Aquino Elections.

Well, that means we could go back home to the province early tomorrow! Why am I glad? 'coz I want to see PX. I cried last night about this sudden emergency that I had to go to Manila. I hate such things that, example: there are two sweethearts then one day, the other will leave without the other's permission or good bye. [I was really melodramatic as a teen, hehe] Just like that when I left Ralph in Tuguegarao, just like leaving PX. But anyway, I'll be home tomorrow.

I don't know still what to do about PX since the last time we talked. I love him. I miss him, I feel like... whammo! [that means full of energy]   :))

Read Next Entry

Monday
021786
Evening 9:30PM
Hello. I can't sleep because I think I have to analyze some things very well.

I can't forget what PX said "I'm really in love with you." He gently held my hand. I beamed with joy! I wanted to say something really witty. I almost wanted to hug him! oh no, that's an oops. You know, when we look at each other, I feel like the earth just stops going around, that the clocks stop ticking. I feel like something special would happen - (what? What's that?) Maybe there's only 7 inch distance between me and PX when we look at each others face. I'm super in love! He's the most super guy I've been with so far and a Robby Rosa look-alike even!

But, there's still a problem - no, not that situation again! - it's ES the second (this other guy from the next street), wants to court me too. Oh no! Why just now when I will now have an official boyfriend?! Why is it when a lady has a boyfriend, that's when her past crushes get interested in her now? Yes, that was me with a lot of crushes and boy-crazy! But since Ralph came to my life, I tied my heart and mostly fixed my eyes on books. But still became physically absent and mentally present in class. [if there was such a word, I must've been exaggerating]

Ah, I love him! Good night,PX!

Red

Read The Next Entry Here

Monday
121786
Evening

Everdearest Diary,
We are going to Manila tomorrow kasi I'm badly needed and I'm in danger co'z I don't know how to get my way by not going there this time. What am I going to do, I have not said anything to PX yet.

I saw PX unexpectedly this afternoon. He really said he is in love with me. I almost melted, I almost wanted to kiss him and tell him "Iluvyouverymuch" but then I'm really watching my brains so that I won't go wacky! I don't understand why I am so silent when I'm with PX. Perhaps something is wrong with me.

I like to explain something to PX before we totally go together.[what a term I use for steady] I think it's about my situation, my mother's situation. [my mother was strict, so very very strict] Surely he won't understand, he doesn't know the real me. He doesn't know this girl he admires.

I hope God makes me brave enough to say to PX my personal situation.

I Love PX!!! (1,000,000,000,000x)

Read the next 80s diary entry here

Sunday
February 16, 1986
Evening

Hello! Sorry yesterday I didn't have time to write.
You know what, early yesterday morning Ate Baybee was loud at their house when I passed by. "PX WILL NOT SHOW UP TODAY!" and again, "MARK MY WORD!" she tried to scare me. She was upset at me, I wanted to fight back!  [but I'm not the kind that does that] I don't want to see ES ever again I said, so that made her angry at me. What should I do!!?!

Anyway, all's well, PX showed up today at my school. Joey and Joan were there with me by the gate and I introduced them. I feel awkward today, some schoolmates were looking at me especially the guys.  I don't know what they think, but they look like about to tease me. So? Basta,I'm really in love!!!

WELL, NEWS HERE: MY UNCLE FROM GERMANY IS COMING TO THE PHILIPPINES ON TUESDAY. GOOD THING WE HAVE EXAMS ON THAT DAY SO I WON'T HAVE TO GO TO MANILA
WITH MY MOM.

Anyway, I love.... PX, soon!

meeh,
Nadia M.

 [That's what I called myself sometimes when I tell a joke. I'm referring to my favorite -the 80's teen star
     Nadia Montenegro. I often plead with my friends and new friends 'I look like Nadia Montenegro?' If they say YES, that would make my day.  But really, no, Nadia has a pretty face. She's the lady there in the middle,see?]

Read the next 80s diary entry here

February 13, 1986
Evening
Thursday

Hi!Hello!Hi!Hello! Oh my, I thought I won't see him anymore. Maybe he was thinking of me so much that he forgot the time I gave him to see me. But anyway I saw him still as soon as I got down from the Downtown jeepney ride.

And guezz what he said? "The guy you were with yesterday is just there." I WAS SURPRISED: "Does he know I'm here too?" [silly me, what kind of a counter question was that haha] Then, here comes ES (the scene is complete: we have an antagonist : witch!) ES said in an almost whisper, "Hey, I told that guy (PX) we are cousins, please don't tell the truth. Just say yes, ok?" I said, "Why did you have to lie,  what was that for?" ES goes, "Because.. because.." (truth, I know ES is upset because he is jealous. I just went along with him because of Ate Baybee. Now he lost his chance with me) That's it! Then there ES was rambling on about Ate Baybee this, Ate Baybee that, wherever she was at that moment, etc.. just so ES and I had something to talk about. I really felt bored-to-death on him. I just said excuse me and went back to where PX was, who by that time was talking to a friend he found there.

PXx said everything ES told him. They've been speaking for quite a while before I came. "ES asked me if I met you already today but I didn't answer and asked him instead: 'Why you ask?'And he answered me, that you have a date with him." When I heard,I LAUGHED! PX smiled because I laughed out loud over that one.  He looked relieved to see me happy. [this same moment is what I always hoped for, just the happy moments. As PX and I used to say over the years "I wish we will always be this way.. happy"] 

We also talked about ES' silly scheme. Whatever that was! Poor ES, we escaped from his
 sight! We just mixed through the crowd and took the next bus, never seen again by ES! It was getting dark already as it was almost 6PM. The only seat we got was at the back of  the bus, just by the aisle. The light blue flourescent light above kept blinking every so often, making it dark and bright the next. [I meant this as a good thing before, it felt kind of romantic in my mind] We didn't talk much, just small talk and  just exchanging smiles. I still felt so nervous at times! Then, PX asked me if he had a chance* with me, and I politely replied "Ha?" that was all I could say!  I'm shocked at my own attitude, eh what can I do, I was very nervous already!  [I meant that when he finally said what I wanted to hear, I was dumbfounded,
I was excited but speechless] I smiled, and just looked at him. (He's so handsome! If Lanie and Betty were here I would have gone boy crazy!) Then, I spoke up again, "Sure." THAT'S IT!

After that, a moment of silence, we looked at each other (just like in my daydreams) I feel so in love I want to tell the world! [in reality, I can't or I would've been in trouble] 

 Basta, next time I see ES, I'll say, "Sorry the other day I forgot all about you. It's been a really long time since I've seen MY BOYFRIEND (take note) again." Surely ES will go nuts! I know he's jealous! What a poor guy... I don't like you, bad!

I love PX! (1,000,000,000,000x)

Red

[and that's the trademark of being with PX over the years. I almost always ended my diary entries with " I love you a million, trillion, zillion times]

Read the next 80s diary entry here

* chance meant- in the 80s you still go through courtship stage or what we call
the waiting period. Elders say guys should wait years, my older cousins say wait a year or so, my friends say wait a few months before saying YES



Listen to the Greatest Valentine Love Songs from the 50s up to the 80s

February 13, 1986
Morning

Hello! I can't get away from you, dear diary! Coz I'm too nervous to see him and I don't know how
to excuse myself from my friends after school.Yaiiiikks! I'm really nervous and I can't even study for
our quiz in Biology coz it bothers me a lot! I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on our  lesson in school, all - I can't! [ahh, the melodrama haha]

Why am I addicted to PX!? I don't know. I'm afraid I might scream or [go the extreme] and faint altogether if I see him. As if he's so popular [yes, I was in the clouds] I dreamed last night that he picked me up from school, and said, while holding my hand "Let's go" :))
And in my dream, my friends and some classmates from the smart group were there and they cheered!!! [I wished for approval I guess] I'M TOO-TOO NERVOUS!! He might say "i luv you', eh I might collapse! Dear God, help me control my emotions. I still don't understand the meaning of love but I'm really trying to. Aaaaahhh!!!!

Another bad girl, Ate Issa - who's Ate Baybee's friend... supposedly told Ate Baybee this morning:  "I've seen Red yesterday at the bus stop in Carried with 2 UGLY guys." .. Grrr! [Whatever I wrote in this entry diary further I'm omitting. I realize now the statement was Ate Baybee's way to put me off PX - by scaring me that Ate Issa would tell on me to my relatives.Ate Baybee knew my weakest spots then, or thought so that it was. Btw, Ate Issa was quite a popular girl in our place. She and her sisters were considered the pretty faces too. Sad to say, Ate Issa has passed away from a heart ailment in 2010]

Read the next 80s diary entry here

Wednesday
February 12, 1986
Evening

Hello!Hello!Hello! I saw PX today!!! Yeheyy! It felt like the world just stopped, and it felt like I could hear Robby Rosa singing "Like An Explosion" over the crowd!

(exact spot of the bus stop where I found him again)Thanks to flickr for the photo


Same story like yesterday, I was with ES again waiting for Ate Baybee. We both crossed the road toward Philippine Lumber to wait for the incoming buses going back to YBTTC*. We were waiting for the next bus then, and still talking. ES began by asking me if Ate Baybee said anything about him, I felt unsure where it was leading to,so I just said "None." (then I just looked the other way) Who did I see a little bit further?! There was PX!!! We both smiled and walked toward each other, and ES was gone in a flash!! would you believe that?! [Yes, when you're in love with love, everything just stops. All you can see is the object of your affection. :) ES was gone? Hmm, I don't think so, I think I was just rude not to tell him to wait a sec]

So PX and I just talked, about what's the latest. PX said.. 'that I'm his crush' and he will see me tomorrow at school!!!!

So I beg you, pleez gimme a vacation to keep you coz we are in danger of my mom and you might fly all my secrets away. See you!! [Yes, after all that time, my mom saw me hiding my diary in a secret place I marked hidden wealth, hahaha, it's a Marcos election terminology]

Red


*What's YBTTC? It's my own term for our sleepy town stands for "You Belong To The City" (shrugs) I don't know why :)

*Who's this PX from the 80s? Visit here
Read the next 80s diary entry here

021186
Evening
Tuesday

Hello. Ralph's day today but I dedicate this day to PX though still he hasn't shown up.I'm not angry anymore. Instead, I feel so sorry for myself that I won't be spending Valentine's Day.My observation about year '85 and '86, they are both opposites. Last year's happy days are now boring, sleepy, tearjerky days. Siguro something happened to PX, maybe he got sick.  [ooh,ha-ha, what a concern! yeah, that's the men's common excuse] Anyway, I still like him because of love and he's still not here by my side. [haha]

This afternoon, I happened to see Ate Baybee (my other bff ,Lanie's elder sister, 19 years old then) at the waiting place for buses and jeeps at Carried [that's Philippine Lumber, what they really meant] I wasn't able to mention yesterday that Ate Baybee introduced a guy from their college to me. He's ok, kind of handsome, the quiet type like BB.. but you know me, when I'm seriously looking for someone else I ignore the person  who's just near me. Let's call this guy ES (Elevator shoes, coz he's tall) Well, I saw ES again today at Carried  and he was the only one I could ask where Ate Baybee went. So he answered:  "Rode a J & J bus going to Manaoag" Much later, here comes Ate Baybee alighting from the bus.  [Ate Baybee went joyriding the Dagupan-Binalonan route, as was her habit in those days.Please don't ask why.] Soon as she was near me, she whispered,smiling: "ES has a crush on you!" I just  looked at her as if I didn't hear anything. But really, how would I believe if ES has a crush on me when he doesn't say anything, kind of shy!

Cut this story short: We took the next bus home. We were just quiet for a while as we were seated in the 3-seater ones. I was seated in the middle of the two. Because of the awkward silence, I whispered asking something about PX, but Ate Baybee dismissed me with: "Will you please talk to ES?" Oh! Am I crazee here?!
A few minutes later, ES spoke up to me, kinda whispering: "Is that guy Baybee's boyfriend?" (referring to the bus conductor ahead)
Me answered: "I'm not sure"
Ate Baybee : "What? That guy, not my boyfriend!"
ES: "But you have a boyfriend, right?"
Ate Baybee: "Yes, of course!"
ES: "How does it feel to be in love?"
That's when I answered (mimicking Maricel Soriano): "It feels like heaven! But now I'm lying low, not in love! Hmp!"
Laughter, nervous laughter...[must have been a set-up that time]
Then Ate Baybee shocked me by her plans: "Both of you have no girlfriend/boyfriend. Hey, ES, it's settled then! On February 14 (pointing at both of us) it's a date, and I'm the chaperone. Okay?"
I BLUSHED.  I felt so icky because.. I ... don't... know. Perhaps I'm falling indeed though I try to control it.

Maybe that's what God wants. Maybe this is just a test for me if I'm faithful to PX. Well, I really am!

I love PX! (1,000,000,000x)

Read the next 80s diary entry here

Monday 021086
Evening

Good Evening, dear diary. I had a good day if only I didn't have fantasies some days ago.

I went to school feeling awkward of my hairdo. I seems I've got a lot of fans,ha. No kidding, I have another classmate,Daff, she also has a new hairdo but my seatmate Jerom was making fun of her, then said: "Your hair looks so much better, it looks good on you. You kind of resemble...." he trailed off because I wasn't really listening because I was paying attention to my other seatmate, another Jerome - he's the Filipino-American - who finally spoke up. I know this guy has a crush on me but won't admit it! Whenever Jerom would tell stories, Jerome would still look at me for approval before he gets to laugh. I don't know why. He has a crush on me? Hahaha! Anyways, the lessons for today were so easy, because I was so inspired! But that inspiration was gone. He sort of stood me up. Isn't it? I really waited but no PX came. I'm angry at him, so angry! I don't want to see him anymore!

Hey, I dreamt last night that I was watching a Menudo concert. I was late in going to the concert but when I entered the stadium, there were only a few people there so I took the frontrow,ha! That time, in my dream, Robby Rosa was singing solo. When he finished singing, he sat near another fan. But when he saw me, he smiled at me, I smiled back. He said "hello" and gestured me to come closer. I said to myself: "Who does he think he is?" So Robby Rosa came over to where I was. Then... no one woke me up, but I just did despite the wonderful dream. [hahaha, indeed! In reality, I get this dream now from what happened in February 12,1986. You'll find out later]

That's all I can write for now, I'm angry at PX. I hate PX! I hate PX! I hate PX!

I love Ralph! I love Ralph! I love Ralph!

WHAT A BORING DAY BUT EXPECT A RED VALENTINE!!!

 Red

Read the next 80s diary entry here 

Note: Wondering who is this PX from the 80s?

Sunday 020986
Evening
Hello. I hope someone can help me. I'm drowning in tears. [I'm laughing at this now] Somethings making me feel awful. Maybe I'm excited to see PX but I still fell I love Ralph very much. I don't know why I can't leave a person I've never heard a word from except a cheery greeting. Why is this so? I know that God really let us meet but it was a wrong time to realize this. Even when I often seen him before, Ralph was always there but we never talked. It's okay. But I'm really losing interest in him now and my feelings are all going toward PX but I still like Ralph too. I don't want to push him away totally. I know we were not steady but I feel that we were before but really we weren't. [What did I really mean that time.. I don't know, I'm just copying the text now]. 

 Maybe there were two people in this world before who just looked like us and fell in love. Maybe Ralph and I are the ones here now. I don't want to hurt him. You might say he won't be hurt because he never got to know me well. But what do I really feel? I love him, I don't want to hurt him coz I know how it feels to be left. But Ralph and I were never on. Why?Why? Why? I know something's wrong, but what? I have no close friends right now who can explain to me what I'm really feeling.
I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. I love Ralph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Red

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Friday 020786
Evening

Hello!Hello!Hello! I've got a decision! Here, I still don't know who won in the 1986 Snap Elections,huh! But here are the results in my analysis...I'll just let go of Ralph, maybe I'll just see when I meet him again in the summer. As for PX, he will be the one here for now.
Dapat dalawa yan! (wala na si Arnie dahil malabo, nakakatakot yun) [words taken from the Marcos tv ad again]

I think I am getting in love in the order of the songs I like best: ... 1st Because Of Love...
2nd If You're Not Here(By My Side)... 3rd Please Be Good To Me ... 4th Parque Del Oeste.

Dear Diary, will just explain later so you won't say I've cheated in the results,huh? Naku..ha!

Red

 Read the next 80's diary entry here

Friday 010786

February 7,1988
Morning

Hello! It's election day today and I hope Cory Aquino will win as president in the 1986 elections.
I have my own polls. What my heart says. I don't know whom I really am interested in, is it Ralph? or PX? Naku ha, PX's last name is the same as Tita Cory's!

But I really feel something is wrong with this situation coz it seems 2 people will get hurt if, etc.
and 2 people will also be happy if,etc. But still we are three in all. But who? who? who?

If it's Ralph I choose, I love him so much, he looks like Robby Rosa, he's a great basketball player, he makes me nostalgic because he lives quite far in Tuguegarao, he is intelligent ( I heard), he likes me but he never said anything about going together at all. I'm not even sure if he has a girlfriend already. I'm not that beautiful and charming for him maybe. If he isn't in a relationship yet, does he love me? (no.) But I like him very much because I got used to being a crybaby always wanting to hear news about him. I always remember him for the song "Because Of Love" by Menudo. So, Ralph pa rin? [term taken from "Marcos Pa Rin"]

If I chose PX, he is just near and he likes me also. I've got mature minds as bridges / matchmakers. PX is good, honest, frank,etc. That makes him great for me but well, should I say: SOBRA NA, TAMA NA, PALITAN NA! (?) [this term taken from Former president Cory Aquino's 1986 election slogan]

So let's just wait and see and analyse. Won't choose the wrong way. If Marcos wins, I choose Ralph or if Aquino wins, I choose PX... hahaha, wrong. "I've got 50 advisers whom I haven't heard in my entire life, malabo, kaya for Mindanao, for my family back home in the farm - Marcos-Tolentino"
[term again gotten from a Marcos election advertisement. My apologies, I was a very hyperactive 14 year old with a very short attention span just to be funny :))]

ok, give me one day to analyse! GAME!

Read the next 80's diary entry here

[Ralph is a real person who resided in Tuguegarao, but he was never my friend, not even close. He was like an imaginary friend that I wished I knew up close. All the info I knew were those few details my younger cousins Lara and Dingdong tell me about. Truth, I do not exist in Ralph's world ;'( - but hey, he's on facebook! haha]